church//gym 2/13::

 A couple of weeks ago I was running on the treadmill and something happened suddenly in my calf muscle. Something pulled or popped, or knotted up, I still don't know. All I know is that I stopped immediately and limped into my car. I got a lot of advice from some smart people- one said to stretch; one said to wear a brace; one said to eat potassium, and they all said that I needed ice and listen to my body- which meant to rest. But I didn't rest. I didn't want to stop running. So I just kept getting on that treadmill every night. I took all the advice that those friends gave me except rest. Some nights I could run for 2 minutes before quitting, some nights 5 or 10. Every night it was painful. Its been painful just walking around.

To be honest- that's not the only wound I've been carrying around. Recently my heart was wounded by a friend- and just like my leg muscle, I've been ignoring that wound and just hoping that it would go away on its own. And all the time, the pain just goes deeper, and the damage is becoming more serious. Last night I was driving to the gym and thought to myself, "maybe this leg injury is just a picture of what is happening in my heart- and what I need more than anything is to admit that I'm hurt and deal with it instead of thinking that it will all go away with time."

Yesterday I met with some friends for prayer and community, and I shared- "this just isn't going away on its own- I just need to let it go." That was big for me-

My leg is finally on the mend- and my heart is too- and both began when I got honest that those wounds were real and began to deal with them, face them and respect them. And God has graciously began to do His healing work. Its not fast- or always enjoyable, but its the best way.

God is love.
-rev-rob