remembering my mom on 4/22/20

While I was driving into work, I was remembering the time when Deanna and I left Modesto for a new life in San Jose. I had been working at First Baptist Church as a full time high school intern for several years. I was 24 years old. I started attending the church when I was a teenager; and the church had watched me go from being a new kid, to a regular, to a leader, to an employee, to a full time pastor that they were sending off to San Jose. It was my last Sunday, and I was to go in front of the church, say a few words and have the pastor pray for me.

 There were two morning services that day. The first service was the older service, and when they called me to the stage I went up there and said in effect, "Thank you for being my church and for helping me to get where I am, now my only goal is to make you proud of me." The pastor prayed for me, and the people clapped for me, and then I took my seat again.

The second service was the service that the students attended. Back then the church had a massive high school ministry, and all of the students would crowd into the front rows of the church. The pastor called me onto the stage, and I could hear the students cheering for me. Then I looked back at them and they were on their feet cheering for me. That moment, the entire auditorium that held thousands of people joined in with them for a long and extended time of cheering for me. I went to say my prepared speech but I was overwhelmed with emotion. So many emotions. The pastor prayed for me and then I took my seat.

That afternoon I went over to my mom's house to say goodbye before my U-Haul drove off for San Jose. I started telling her this story, but I broke down when I got to the part about the standing ovation. She broke down too. We just stood in her doorway and hugged and had a long ugly cry.

As I was driving in today, I was thinking about my mom and how she empathized with me on that occasion and on so many others. There have been many times in recent months that I wished that I could stand in her doorway and tell her a story and get a hug from her. I don't think I ever really understood how important that was for me. I think that now I am more grateful for those moments than ever.

And I'm grateful for First Baptist and the leaders who invested in me back then. And its still my goal to make them proud of me and the work that I do each day.

Hugs are hard to come by these days, but if you have someone to hug, or listen to, or empathize with, don't let that moment pass. They are gone before you know it.

God is love.
-rev-rob