bus stories part 2

I spoke too soon about being done with the bus. I drove it today to shuttle people around for our church's beautiful day project. driving it reminded me of another story:

once I was shuttling some kids from one parking lot to another- it was a crisp fall evening. there was a pretty hyper young man on the bus who used to hang from the ceiling while I was driving the bus. that, and scream, and throw things, and other means of distraction.

 

on this particular night I was getting ready to drive, he was sitting behind me, and he crumpled up an autumn leaf on the top of my hair. I didn't know what he was doing, I just felt him messing with my hair while I was driving.

so there I was, driving on the freeway, with dried up autumn leaf on my head. then he began to pull on my seatbelt. (to preserve his identity, I'll call him David.) I said, "David! what the heck?! what are you doing?!" and he pulled and pulled that seatbelt across my neck- while I was driving on the freeway with a bus full of kids.

then the perfect storm happened.

a piece of leaf fell off my head and onto the seatbelt. at that same instant, I turn around to scold this young man. at the same time, he let go of the seatbelt. at that moment, the seatbelt turned into a slingshot, and shot that piece of dried leaf into my eye-ball and under my eye-lid- while I was driving down the freeway with a bus full of kids.
I was blinded.
with every movement of my eye, I could feel the leaf scratching my eyelid and eye ball. I panicked. I scread, "David! what did you do?!" "nothing." he said and immediately sat down in silence.

I slowed down, i blinked, I rubbed my eyes- all I could see was blur and all I could feel was pain. I finally got the leaf out and pieced together what had happened. I was so mad.  I called his mother. I clearly expressed my frustration and the dangerous situation that David had caused. I could tell that she had heard worse.

anyhow- the moral of the story is, sometimes driving a church bus is a hazardous situation, and could require safety goggles.

God is love.
-rev-rob

bus stories part 1

well, I couldn't write that last blog without thinking of some stories! I've got a lot of them! here is one of my favorites:

one time, I was taking a group of kids home from santa cruz and the bus broke down. I called for some other vehicles to take them home, and I waited just off of highway 17 for a tow truck. I called the company and told them that I was from venture church and I needed a tow for my bus. he took a LONG, LONG time to come and get me! when the driver finally got to me he was very excited to meet me. he introduced himself and asked what my name was. when I said Rob his face sank. "what's wrong?" I asked. He said, "I was really hoping that you would be Chip Ingram."

then my face sank.

I've got a lot of bark stories too. so many. I could make my own blog of vomit stores after 20 years in youth ministry. one time we were in the bus and we looked back and it looked like a boy was coughing up blood. we pulled over and he had it everywhere. all over his face, hands, shirt, everywhere. when he got out of the bus we discovered that it wasn't blood, he had eaten a giant bag of fire-hot cheetos and all of that heat and swaying made him car sick. unfortunately he barfed into his hands and touched every seat on his way out of the bus. we had the floors switched from carpet to vinyl soon after.

when I was an intern I was in a bus on the way home from LA. a student said that he had to go potty. I thought he was messing with me because we had just stopped a few minutes earlier. I told him to go in a soda cup. well, he did! I didn't want that thing spilling so we pulled over, and he threw it out. the next week his dad asked me why I didn't let him go potty. I told the dad that I thuoght he was messing with me. the dad said, "rob. when a kid has diarrhea you don't tell him to go in a soda cup!"
wait. WHAT?!
lesson learned.

one time I opened the bus driver-side door with my friend Ed, and we saw in the door hinge that some wasps built a nest. apparently wasps freaked Ed out, because he became a mixture of paranoid and violent. he got a beach towel and waved it at that wasp nest trying to knock it loose. he just ended up making them mad and they chased him all over the parking lot. he ran around the parking lot waving that beach towel and screaming bloody murder. I'm tearing up with happy tears just remembering that moment now. we ended up going to home depot and getting some wasp spray to get rid of them.

one time in mexico we were driving to some remote spot that had no roads. there was this big lump in the road that I had to drive over. I knew that if I drove it in the wrong way, I could literally tip the bus on its side. how do you take a road lump like that? slow? fast? I chose slow. I pulled up slowly and that bus stood there leaning at and angle nearly tipping over. now what? keep driving slowly? gas it? how would I get it tipped back if it fell? would I smash the windows? how would we get home? that moment seemed to last forever. I got the thing over the hump, but that moment haunted me for years.

I used to drive the busses in the morning to shuttle the church workers around the corner so that we could make parking spots for all of the guests at church. we parked right next to a fence that housed a couple of horses. I was sitting in the bus with the door closed, waiting for my friend to step inside. she stopped, picked some flowers, and held them out for the horse. the horse came over to her, and started nibbling the flowers. I opened the bus door, and it made that electronic opening sound, and that horse lost its mind. it freaked out. it stood on its hind legs, and started jumping and bucking. I thought it was going to hop the fence and go wild. I called my friend into the bus, we shut the door and did a duck and cover until he calmed down. super-scary.

one time I drove to the snow in a blizzard. in the bus. not fun.

so many fun and crazy memories! I'll post more as I remember them!
God is love.
-rev-rob

my busses-

yesterday was the end of an era.
after 12+ years, I closed out all of our accounts with all of our vendors for the church busses, and I gave away the keys. I'm not in charge of them anymore! no more safety checks, no more drug tests, no more repairs, no more fueling, no more tow trucks!

the vehicles almost never get used anymore- maybe once a year to haul stuff across town. they are unreliable and deteriorating fast. we decided to donate them to some ministries that will use them on a regular basis to drive people to church- that's what they're for!

its a little sentimental for me- i've had some adventures in those vehicles for sure. lots of laughs- and lots of sitting on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck! I've driven them to mexico, hume lake, and all over the bay area.

here are some fun memories in the bus:
some photos of broken busses!

mexico:

running around with the unis:

that time I took the bus through mcdonald's drive through to get 22 ice creams for 22 middle schoolers:

and my favorite: a rolling party!

 

 

well old friends, #15 and #16, thanks for the memories! thanks for getting us all from point A to point B safely. may your seats be filled with many happy faces for years to come.

 

God is love.

-rev-rob