remembering my mom on 4/22/20

While I was driving into work, I was remembering the time when Deanna and I left Modesto for a new life in San Jose. I had been working at First Baptist Church as a full time high school intern for several years. I was 24 years old. I started attending the church when I was a teenager; and the church had watched me go from being a new kid, to a regular, to a leader, to an employee, to a full time pastor that they were sending off to San Jose. It was my last Sunday, and I was to go in front of the church, say a few words and have the pastor pray for me.

 There were two morning services that day. The first service was the older service, and when they called me to the stage I went up there and said in effect, "Thank you for being my church and for helping me to get where I am, now my only goal is to make you proud of me." The pastor prayed for me, and the people clapped for me, and then I took my seat again.

The second service was the service that the students attended. Back then the church had a massive high school ministry, and all of the students would crowd into the front rows of the church. The pastor called me onto the stage, and I could hear the students cheering for me. Then I looked back at them and they were on their feet cheering for me. That moment, the entire auditorium that held thousands of people joined in with them for a long and extended time of cheering for me. I went to say my prepared speech but I was overwhelmed with emotion. So many emotions. The pastor prayed for me and then I took my seat.

That afternoon I went over to my mom's house to say goodbye before my U-Haul drove off for San Jose. I started telling her this story, but I broke down when I got to the part about the standing ovation. She broke down too. We just stood in her doorway and hugged and had a long ugly cry.

As I was driving in today, I was thinking about my mom and how she empathized with me on that occasion and on so many others. There have been many times in recent months that I wished that I could stand in her doorway and tell her a story and get a hug from her. I don't think I ever really understood how important that was for me. I think that now I am more grateful for those moments than ever.

And I'm grateful for First Baptist and the leaders who invested in me back then. And its still my goal to make them proud of me and the work that I do each day.

Hugs are hard to come by these days, but if you have someone to hug, or listen to, or empathize with, don't let that moment pass. They are gone before you know it.

God is love.
-rev-rob

keystone species pt. 1

Keystone Species Week 1 from rob walter on Vimeo.

keystone species pt. 2

Keystone Species Week 2 from rob walter on Vimeo.

keystone species pt. 3

Keystone Species Week 3 from rob walter on Vimeo.

keystone species pt. 4

Keystone Species Week 4 from rob walter on Vimeo.

forged in fire: the drawing

here is a set of illustrations that I have been thinking about for a while:

I love this show on the history channel- forged in fire. I have seen every episode. it has everything that I love in a show: competition, action, and making things.

the show begins with 4 blacksmiths- they are given 3 hours to forge a blade. sometimes they choose they metal that they use, sometimes its assigned to them. sometimes they make a blade in their signature style, sometimes they are told what kind of blade to make. sometimes they are given special parameters to meet in their blade. they are then told how the blade will be tested. it will be tested for strength, sharpness and durability. the blade may be tested by chopping ice, or stabbing into metal; how it is used will determine what kind of blade the blacksmiths will forge.

form follows function.

after that, the bladesmiths are given a 10 minute window to make a shop drawing of their blade. they will determine the length, the type of handle and the edge geometry. after that, they will go to work forging their blades- but as they do, they will continue to compare what they are making to their shop drawing. if their blade is too short, they will draw out the metal until it matches the drawing. if it is too short, they will cut their blade until it matches the shop drawing. failure to meet parameters of cause for immediate removal from the competition.

we are forged in fire. we are like those blades. there is a shop drawing that we must conform to- and that is to the image of Christ. God heats us, and bends us, and cuts us, and hammers us until we are a perfect match.

the bible says that, "we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” God is the blacksmith, and we are the iron in His hands. He has a special purpose for us to fulfill; and He has shaped us according to the job that He has reserved for us. a chopping blade is designed one way, a slicing one another, and a stabbing blade has another design. the design tells the user what it should be used for. form follows function. the same is true for us: some of us are artists, some are counselors, some are revolutionaries; and each of us has been made according to the function He has created us for.

chopping blades should not be jealous of slicing blades. they are not made to slice- they are made to chop. piercing blades should not be jealous of cooking knives. they were not made for that- they were made to pierce. each of us has been hand-made for a special purpose that God has assigned to us- and we do that role better than anyone else.

God is the blacksmith and we are the steel. He has a shop drawing for us- a plan for what we will become. Jeremiah 29:11 says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He is making something out of us: something useful, strong and sharp. The process of making a blade is uncomfortable for the steel, but in the end, it is stronger and more useful than ever. The process that God uses to make us is often uncomfortable, but He is creating something strong, useful and sharp. It is uncomfortable, but we can trust Him as He works.

God is love.
-rev-rob

forged in fire: moving metal

on forged in fire, after the bladesmiths have made a shop drawing, they begin to move the metal. metal, of course, is a hard, durable material, and only moves under great pressure.

the bladesmiths fire up up red-hot forges and let the metal sit in them until they are not just red-hot, but yellow. then they pull the metal out and quickly put it on an anvil, and they hammer it into shape until it begins to cool; then they put it back in the forge and repeat that process. with a hammer and an anvil, the bladesmiths can make the metal longer, thinner, and they can form it into the shape of a blade.

we are forged in fire. we are like those blades, and God is the bladesmith, the Maker. this process of moving metal reminds me of a couple of spiritual principles- number one is the idea that God shapes us through pressure. we all know this verse from james 1: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." when a bladesmith heats metal, and hammers it and smashes it, he is not doing it to punish it, he is doing it to shape it and make it strong. God often shapes us through pressure and pain and hardships- it feels like punishment; but God is like the bladesmith- He doesn't just see things in the moment, He sees things how they will eventually be. maybe the reason that God uses pressure to shape us is that we ourselves are like metal: stubborn, rigid and set in our ways.

this reminds me of another principle- iron sharpens iron. proverbs 27:17 says, "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." I have taught this verse for years- and when I do, I often say that God uses other people to shape and sharpen us. I also like think about a butcher sharpening his knife with a file or a whetstone. on forged in fire, they use grinders and sanders to sharpen their blades. when I have taught this verse I talk about one person coming alongside another person and gently rubbing off the rough surfaces- like a friendly mentor. That may have been the writer of proverbs intended meaning, but when I think about proverbs, and the writer, and the time that it was written, they didn't have grinders or sand paper. The verse doesn't say, "as sandpaper sharpens iron..." it says, "as iron sharpens iron..." and on forged in fire, iron sharpens iron when a hammer bashes into a piece of steel and shapes it. so maybe the writer of proverbs wasn't saying that we are gently sharpened by a friendly mentor- maybe they are saying that we are sharpened when a friend gives us tough love; when they are brave enough to confront us with the truth, as painful as that feels sometimes. in the same chapter of proverbs the writer says in proverbs 27:6, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." when a friend is brave enough to hammer us with the truth, it sharpens us and shapes us.

here is a third insight about the process of moving metal that I am reminded of- the bladesmith believes in the metal. when I teach these thing to students, I like to see the process of knife making from the steel's point of view. the steel was happy- then it was picked up by the bladesmith and put under intense heat. then it was smashed repeatedly. then it was grinded and filed. from the steel's perspective, it is being punished and beaten, and put through a long season of suffering. from the steel's point of view, it may be asking, "what did I do wrong?! why am I being treated like this?! does this bladesmith hate me?!" but in reality, the bladesmith doesn't hate the steel, they believe in the steel. they believe that it can be strong, and sharp and useful; and because the bladesmith believes in the steel, they shape it. maybe when we are going through a trial and difficult times, it's not because we are being punished, or because God hates us; it's because God believes in us; He has a special job for us. He believes that we can be strong and sharp and useful; so He is shaping us for a special role in the future.

God is the blacksmith and we are the steel. The world may see scrap, but God sees a sword.

God is love.
-rev-rob

forged in fire: the quench

on forged in fire, when the bladesmiths have shaped their blade, they do this thing called a heat-treat. this is where they take their blade and heat it up in their forge to an even temperature. I am not an expert in what they are doing at this point, but I know that this step is critically important. they often say that the heat treat will either make (or literally) break their blade. so they pull this blade in and out of their forge over and over until it has an even glow to it, and then they quickly dunk the blade in a big drum of oil. this is one of the best parts of the show- they call it the quench. sometimes fire will jump out of the oil drum.

after the blade has cooled, the bladesmiths immediately check their blade. all kinds of things can happen during the quench: it can crack, it can warp, or their heat treatment may have not worked. sometimes when it warps, they quickly put pressure on it to get the blade to warp back. the bladesmiths will then do a file test. this is where they take a metal file and rub it against their blade. if the heat treatment worked, the file will skate along the surface of the blade; if it didn't it will dig into the blade.

again, I have seen every single episode of this show- I have seen hundreds of episodes, and I'm still a little unsure of what happens in this moment, but here is what I understand- the heat treatment makes the blade hard. it makes it so hard that you can't even drill a drill bit through it. the heat treatment makes the blades so hard that they can be bashed into metal, ice or concrete and they will not bend even a little. the process of heating the blade and then cooling it in oil transforms the metal from a workable metal into immovable steel. on a molecular level, the metal is changed. it immediately goes from pliable to strong and solid. a file won't dig into it, and drill can't drill through it, it has become bullet-proof.

we are forged in fire. transformation is a concept that is found all over the bible- one of my favorite verses in 2 corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" the moment that anyone trusts Christ, they are transformed into something different and new. we're not bullet-proof, we don't even feel strong sometimes, but we are different than what we were before. The bible describes it as moving from darkness to light, from death to life, from blindness to having sight.

God is the blacksmith and we are the steel. His process of creating something new and special is different for everyone; but for each of us, He takes us on a journey from what we were, to something new, onto a special destiny of what we will become. we are all somewhere on the process of that journey- we are all becoming strong and sharp, and useful in His hands.

God is love.
-rev-rob

forged in fire: the test

the last step on forged in fire is testing the blade. the bladesmiths have known about this step the entire time; they have been preparing for it. at the beginning of the competition they are told that their blades will be tested for sharpness, strength and durability. they are told if their blades will be using to chop, slice, stab, or all three. since the bladesmiths know this, they spend the entire time preparing their knife for this moment. what they are trying to avoid the most is a critical failure, or essentially having a knife break in half during the testing. to prevent this, the bladesmiths are very, very careful at every step. any misstep can cause a critical failure in their blade.

sometimes the bladesmiths are told to combine multiple types of metals to create their blade. they take extra care to make sure that each piece of metal combines perfectly with the other, because if they don't, the blade will break. each piece of metal must be cleaned carefully, or the blade could break. when they hammer the metal, it has to be done with a watchful eye, or the blade could break. when they heat-treat the blade, it must be done perfectly, or the blade will break. if they see any kind of fracture in their blade at any step in the process, they work to fix it immediately or it will cause a failure. oftentimes, a bladesmith will find a crack in their blade and completely start over, because they don't want to have any compromise in the integrity of their metal.

the bladesmiths finally get to the point where their blades can be tested. they have moved their metal into a blade shape, they have hardened the blade with their heat-treatment, they have attached a handle, and they have made the edge razor-sharp. first, the judges test the blade for strength and durability- they do this by hacking the blade into something it was never meant to chop- something like metal, ice, concrete or animal antlers. most of the time the blades survive with minimal damage, but sometimes the break in half. it is a sinking moment for the bladesmith, the judges and the viewer.

in this moment, the judge will pick the blade up off of the floor and inspect it. they look carefully at the metal on the inside of the blade, and oftentimes, they can pinpoint what went wrong. every time, it was a small imperfection that caused the blade to fail when it was put under stress. one metal didn't combine quite right with another. a microscopic crack grew and cause the knife to fail. the metal didn't get to the right temperature during the heat treatment. something about the integrity of the blade went wrong, and the blade failed. sometimes that failure can cause harm to the judge and can even leave them bleeding.

a small imperfection led to a big failure. 

we are forged in fire. these are things that we all need to be thinking about as Christians- we need to be careful about imperfections in our character and our own personal integrity. a small compromise can lead to a big failure and can hurt others. like those judges, we need to be searching for imperfections in our character and address them as quickly as possible. we need to remember that just like a bladesmith, there are no shortcuts to character or maturity and that it is important to examine our hearts regularly. when we find something that isn't right, we should address it and not ignore it- the longer we ignore it, the more damage it will cause.

God is the blacksmith and we are the metal. psalm 139 says, "Search me, God, and know my heart;  test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." we are wise when we invite Him to look us over for flaws and ask Him to address them before they hurt us, our loved ones or our future.

God is love.
-rev-rob

STRONG OPINIONS FROM ROB: on santa-

when I was a kid, I remember believing in santa, until one day when my dad said, "you know that's not real." my mom shouted at him, but I could tell by both of their reactions that he was right.

when we had our own daughter, we decided that we were not going to talk about santa- other kids could, but we didn't. we wanted Christmas to be about jesus. I remember one time I was talking to my daughter- she must have been 4 or 5, and she was talking about santa and asking if he was real. I said, "who bought mom's presents?" she said "we did." "who bought dad's presents?" "we did," she said. "well- then santa didn't bring them, it was us." she said, "are all of the stories at church fake too?"

that's when I knew that it was not only a preference to not talk about santa, it was important to the future of my daughter's faith. if I present all of these fairy tales, and then at some point declare that they are pretend, why wouldn't she doubt the stories from the bible? why wouldn't she put an invisible God who hears her prayers in the same boat as santa- who brings her toys once a year?

my experience just confirms this- I hear about kids getting expensive toys from santa because they are good- and kids whose families can't afford those toys wondering why santa gave their friend something expensive and them something cheap. were they not as good? its heartbreaking.

I see families going to elaborate measures to convince their kid that santa came, and ate the cookies they left for him, and got their letter. its a lot of deception, and is setting their kid up for a heartbreaking conversation.

and in the end, it causes kids to associate Christmas with presents, toys and santa, and not jesus.

every Christmas I see churches singing songs about santa and having pictures with santa- I think God in heaven see this and is nauseated.

I know its cute to see your kids get excited about the magic of santa, and the hope of what he might bring them. its cute to read their letters and listen to their hopes, but is it worth deceiving them and creating mistrust about things that are truly supernatural? I don't think so.

God is love.
-rev rob