roverbs: like you vs. need you

the other day I was at lunch with some youth pastors and I was chatting and throwing out ideas and tips and this one friend said, "that's like a wise saying from rob! its a proverb- no, a RO-verb!"
of course I loved it.

here is a roverb for you-
I talk with a lot of youth workers who tell me how they are working so many hours and how they don't see their family much, but they are doing it for the church, and for the Lord, and someday this season will pass- and then  I give them my like you vs. need you speech.

I tell them that at my church, they like me. the students like me, the parents like me, my co-workers like me, the volunteers like me. its nice to be liked. some may tell me that they love me, but really, they just like me. when I'm gone, the church will get a new worker- and they will like him or her too. that worker will be a good worker, and they will likely be an even better worker than me. they might miss me for awhile, but pretty soon, they will be so into the new worker that my memory will be long gone. that's because I'm replaceable. everyone is.

but then there is my wife. she needs me. she can't replace me like the church can. I'm the only husband she has. there is no one else that can do the job of being her husband except me. I wouldn't even want to think of anyone taking my place in being her husband.

and then there is my daughter. she needs me. she can't replace me like the church can. I'm the only dad that she has. there is no one else that can do the job of being her dad except me. and I wouldn't even want to think of someone trying to be her dad except me. that job is on me alone.

and everyone can make a list like this. there are people who like you, and people who need you. so as you think about your life, and the roles in your life, and the legacy that you will eventually leave, where should you spend your BEST time? with the people who like you (and will eventually replace you) or with the people who NEED you (and CAN'T replace you?)

why would I give all of my time and attention and focus to some people who will forget me not long after I'm gone? why would I ignore the roles that only I can fill; and the people that are counting on me? it just doesn't add up.

and when I see youth workers giving away time that belongs to their family, just to keep a group of people happy, it makes me shake my head. of course you need to do your job, and earn the money that you're paid; but there is no amount of money (NO AMOUNT OF MONEY!) or position, or title, that is worth selling out your family. and in the end, when its all said and done, no one will care how hard you worked or the hours you tirelessly put in; but they will remember that you loved Jesus, and your family, and the people you worked with.

so when they ask you to give up your day off (again), and you find yourself promising your family that they will get your time eventually, do everyone a favor and take some time off. look at your family, talk with them. go on a walk. go and get sweaty. have a life! work with your hands. read a book that has nothing to do with your job. eat some delicious food in a quiet setting.
because you are more than what you do.
and your family is way more important than your boss. and your job. and the students. and that one committee. 
and being important is not that important.

God is love.
-rev-rob