E.D.A.

about a year ago I blogged a story about my friend Ken who was raising money for a charity, and asked me for a donation while I was at church. I also told how he encouraged me to cherish my wife, as he had lost his wife Alma a few months earlier. He and Alma had been married for 54 years. This has to be Ken's new mission in life, because I often hear of Ken encouraging other men to cherish their wives- and every time he sees me, he asks me how I am cherishing Deanna.

last sunday morning, I was walking out of the church service and into the middle school ministry. the hallways were crowded and I was shuffling through, and there was Ken and his clipboard, a year later-

he said, "rob! can I count on you for a donation?" of course I agreed and started filling out the form on his clipboard; and then (like clockwork!) Ken started asking me about how I was cherishing Deanna. he said,
"you know, Rob, I always ask all of my married friends how they are cherishing their wives..."
(by the way, if you didn't already guess it, Ken is a senior citizen, and when he talks, its very slow and charming)
I saw it coming and said, "yes- you have encouraged me about that before- I really appreciate it..."
he went on to say, "you know, so many men get so convicted when I ask them how they are cherishing their wives- because so many men neglect that part of their lives- you know, we all get so busy with our work and schedules. when alma was alive, I used to forget to cherish her too, so I would remind myself to cherish her by leaving post-it notes around my house that said 'E.D.A.' Every Day Alma. I wanted to remind myself to cherish Alma every day. You know Rob, she used to find my post-it notes around the house and say, 'what's this all about Ken?' and eventually she figured it out. I thought that it bothered her to see those notes around the house, but now that she's gone, I have discovered that she saved my post-it notes in her journals and in her bible and her books. it seems like I'm always finding my old notes that say E.D.A."

at this point, I was just trying to get this form filled out as soon as possible before I burst into tears.

Ken has given this talk to so many men at so many times, that it wasn't emotional for him at all. he just kept on going-
"so Rob- for me it was E.D.A. and I encourage you to cherish your wife every single day. you know Rob, when I get to heaven, the first person I want to see is Jesus. but after that, I'm looking for Alma! I know that there is no marriage in heaven, but I just want to see her again and hang out with her. I can't wait to see her again."

I finished the form, I handed him the clipboard, I thanked him for his encouragement and his friendship and moved on before it could all sink in- I mean, I had to go and talk to a crowd of middle schoolers! I had to hold it together!

but I'll pay Ken's encouragement to me forward to you:
cherish the people in your life. let them know that you love them today. E.D.A- or whatever your loved ones initials are. enjoy every minute of it.

God is love.
-rev-rob

ken's encouragement:

I have an elderly friend named Ken. He is a class-act. He loves helping kids- he has been telling all of the kids in his neighborhood about jesus for years. years ago, I blogged about how he has told his entire neighborhood about jesus. ken also raises money for a local pro-life charity. he has been doing it for years. when he comes around with his clipboard asking for donations, no one can say no to ken, especially me. a year ago on Christmas day, ken’s wife of 54 years, alma, died. I’ve been a little concerned about him ever since.

yesterday, I was standing out in front of church, greeting the people who were walking in, when up walks ken. he had his clipboard, and was raising money, and of course I was going to say yes to him. I started filling out the form when ken started telling me a story in his unique, warbly voice. he said,

“you know I was at the gym the other day, and I asked the fellow next to me, ‘are you cherishing your wife?’ he didn’t know what I was talking about, so I asked him again, ‘are you cherishing your wife?’”

I was filling out the form, nodding my heard, and monitoring who was coming and going, all at once. he continued the story:

“another guy got on the phone and said to his wife, ‘I’m done. you can come and get me now.’ and I said, ‘you know, you could have said I love you. or thank you. or I appreciate you.’ You know Rob, I’ve been asking all of the married men I know if they cherish their wives…”

I had temporarily forgotten that ken’s wife died a year and a half ago, but then I remembered- oh boy did I remember! he continued:

“you know Rob, alma died a year ago on Christmas. and boy do I miss her. you know I would do just about anything just to hold her hand again and tell her that I love her again. I cherished every moment that I spent with her…all 54 years. you know that feeling when you first fall in love, Rob? I had that feeling for 54 years with alma…”

at this point I was filling out this form as fast as I could just to get out of this conversation with ken before he had me bawling in from of a crowd of middle schoolers. he just looked at me, with complete control over his emotions and said,

“you know Rob, you’ve got to cherish her. every day, you’ve got to cherish her. I tell all of my friends who are married to cherish their wives. I’m just grateful that I had 54 happy years with her, but boy do I miss her. you know, I would give anything just to be with her now and hold her hand again.”

He asked me how long Deanna and I have been married and I told him 17 years (!) and he said, “you’ve got a solid foundation- and its build on the solid rock of jesus.”

this guy was killing me. I just had to change the subject in my mind before I broke down. I shook his hand and thanked him for his encouragement. then I started bugging some of the single staff ladies to give him a call. what more could you ask for in a husband?! he’s got character and faith- they didn’t want to hear it.

anyhow- I’ll just give you the same encouragement that ken gave me: cherish her- or him. we don’t know how long we have together, so enjoy every minute of it.

God is love.
-rev-rob

yes.

i just got back from a baptism service at arbor apartments.
my friend ken
has been leading bible studies there for years,
and today, 4 of the members of his bible study
got baptized in the pool!
a pastor who knew some of the people getting baptized
oversaw all of the speaking and baptizing,
so i was just there to watch-
and to support my friends gloria and athena
who were also being baptized.


as we listened to this man lead the meeting,
ken sort of pointed people out to me-
“this woman is off of drugs thanks to jesus!”
“this lady was in an abusive relationship,
but she kicked that guy out,
and now she is dedicating her life to the Lord!”
i was so inspired,
and now have a whole new respect for ken.
it got me thinking of pursuing some sort of bible study
in my own community.


my friends gloria and athena got in the pool-
they were a little nervous.
the pastor asked athena,
“have you received jesus christ
as your Lord and savior?”
in a word, she answered,
“yes.”
wow!
i didn’t know that she had given her heart to jesus!
and she proclaimed it to her world
and all of her neighbors,
new testament style!
with that one word,
“yes,”
all sorts of emotion was released in me-
i was in awe at the power of God,
to come and transform a life.
and if i wasn’t wearing my aviators,
that crowd would have seen my eyes well up with tears.
great job ken!
and hooray for jesus!


“if you confess with your mouth that jesus is Lord
and believe in your heart that God
raised him from the dead,
you will be saved.
for it is by believing in your heart
that you are made right with God,
and it is by confessing with your mouth
that you are saved.
as the scriptures tell us,
“anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.”
romans 10:9-11
(new living translation)