in gratitude for normal

have you ever longed for things to be normal?
like maybe you were in a crazy situation, and you regretted the decisions that led to it and you wished that instead, things could
just be normal?

there have been times when someone I’ve loved was sick or in the hospital, or the car was broken, or there was major conflict, or a big bill in front of me; and I’ve said to myself, “I wish that this episode was over- or that it never began; and that things could
just be normal.”

sometimes I think to myself in those situations, “wouldn’t it just be awesome to just sit down for a meal with my family, and not have this issue to worry about?”
“wouldn’t it be wonderful to just roll into to work without this situation to explain or to have a conflict waiting for me?”
“wouldn’t today be so much better if things were
just normal?”
we take normal for granted don’t we?

I’ve been thinking about this because we narrowly avoided a major accident the other night. we were at a stoplight and the car was sitting behind another car, and sitting on the lightrail tracks- and I saw that the lightrail train was coming toward us. I made a quick decision and pulled the car into the next lane to pull around the car in front of me and get out of the way of the train- but I didn’t look first, another car was already in that lane, and coming in quick. it hit the brakes hard to avoid an accident with us and their brakes screeched really loud. if they hadn’t responded so quickly, their car would have hit the side of the car that both jane and deanna were sitting on. my heart was racing- it was hard to settle down.

I was laying in bed the next morning and thinking, “what if that car HAD hit us really hard? things would be very, very different today.” I wouldn’t be in my bed, I would probably be at the hospital with my wife and daughter. I wouldn’t be laying awake pondering things, I would be laying awake, regretting my decision to have jane sit on that side of the car, regretting my decision to pull out without looking first, regretting my decision to pull onto the tracks while at a red light, regretting my decision not to buy some kind of indestructible Volvo car…

I would be in communication with health insurance companies and car insurance companies and the other driver, and my friends, and my family, and my team down at the church and with God pleading with Him for them to be alright. I would be thinking about how we were going to get a new car- I would be thinking about everything, and I would be feeling sad and sorry and stupid. and I would probably give anything to turn back time, re-think those decisions, and for everything to
just be normal.
normal would be heaven in that moment.

but none of those things happened at all. I wasn’t in the hospital- I was in my warm bed. I could hear my wife sleeping soundly. my baby-girl was cozy in her bed without a care in the world.
things were just normal-
and I wasn’t going to take it for granted-
I was grateful for it.
that morning, I hugged jane and deanna a little bit longer; I moved a little bit slower and was so grateful for the fact that
it was just normal-

I began to thank God that He allowed that guy to stop in time, and I began to thank Him for my family, and for our home, and for warm beds, and food in the fridge and for cars that work- for everything.

later that day I thought to myself, “right now, jane is sitting on the sofa, watching cartoons and munching on some cereal; Deanna is reading her books, making to-do lists, and working with jane-
all is well, and well is wonderful.”


are things just normal for you today?
thank God for that normalcy- it’s a gift;
a gift that you might give anything for under different circumstances-
take time to thank God for normal today- don’t take it for granted!
be grateful for what you have.
don’t compare yourself and what you have with others-
what you have is beautiful- appreciate that today.

and another thing- drive safe! there are some crazies out there.

“be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

God is love.
-rev-rob

profiles in attitude: the israelites in the book of numbers

I just started my sermon series on attitude at the Los Gatos Christian chapel yesterday. it made me think of how far I need to go on my attitude, and how much I need to work on my attitude each day. this morning, I was reading in the book of numbers and I saw that the Israelites put on a clinic of how to have a bad attitude- and God also reveals how He feels about our bad attitudes.
:: numbers 11:1 says, “now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the LORD, and when he heard them his anger was aroused.”

bottom line: complaining makes God angry. because complaining is essentially telling someone else, “what you have given me isn’t good enough.”

:: in numbers 11:4 it says, “the rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat!”

bottom line: being discontent with what you have infuriates God. God had given them all the food they could want- they just wanted options. so God gave them so much quail-meat to eat that they barfed it out their noses.

:: in numbers 11:21 God tells Moses that He is going to feed the Israelites enough meat to fill them up for a month. moses thinks God is exaggerating and reminds God that there are 600 thousand Israelite men and that’s a lot of meat. God’s response to moses’ lack of faith is, “Is the LORD's arm too short? You will now see whether or not what I say will come true for you."

bottom line: an unbelieving attitude doesn’t score points with God either.

:: in numbers 12, moses’ sister Miriam, and his brother aaron start talking trash about Moses’ Cushite (African) wife. they start spreading the word that they might be better to lead israel than moses. God calls Moses, Aaron and Miriam to the tent of meeting and says, “ When a prophet of the LORD is among you, I reveal myself to him in visions…but this is not true of my servant Moses; …with him I speak face to face, …why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?"
Miriam got leprosy for spreading her criticism and gossip.

bottom line- the attitude of our words matter to God- and He can’t stand the criticism and the gossip. we ought to think twice before we criticize someone that God has placed in leadership.

:: in numbers 13, a group of spies are gathered to scope out the promised land to see what its like before the Israelites enter. 2 of them come back thrilled at the opportunities- 10 came back complaining that it would be too hard to conquer and that they should just turn back. their negative attitude spread throughout the community and the people started to freak out.

bottom line: a negative attitude spreads and it escalates- so if you have one, keep it to yourself.

:: in response to everyone’s bad attitude, God tells the one who are afraid that they will never enter the promised land, and that Israel will wander the desert until the last one is dead.

bottom line: a negative attitude takes away your opportunities and keeps you from the great things that God has for you.

:: the two spies that had a great attitude got to go to the promised land- I love what God says about the spy named caleb in Numbers 14:24 “but because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it.”

bottom line: an awesome attitude brings opportunities from God.

and the ultimate bottom line is that: my attitude is a spiritual issue.
its really not reflective of how I feel about my environment or my relationships or my status, its about my connection to God. again, God says of caleb: “but because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it.”

a great attitude comes from following God wholeheartedly;
and when I stop following God with everything,
the way I see life
and people
begins to warp;
and my attitude turns sour.

so how has your attitude been?
has it been limiting you?
or is it creating opportunities for you?

probably the better question is, how closely are you following God?

is attitude everything?
pretty much.

God is love.
-rev-rob

joseph's attitude, part 2

I've been thinking and writing about attitudes for awhile now; I have recently finished a speaking series on attitude that will launch this fall called sabotage. the idea is that a bad attitude will sabotage your life, and it can only be defeated with the secret weapon of a great attitude. thoughout the series, I will look at several saboteurs and illustrate how they damage our lives and our futures, I'll also spell out the secret weapons that neutralize these saboteurs.

I'm also working on a series on the life of joseph; and in preparing for this, i've been reading chuck swindoll's book on his life. chuck spend a lot of time on joseph's attitude. a few months ago I wrote about joseph's attitude and felt that I covered the subject pretty well. chuck one-upped me and I'll share his thoughts-

:: chuck spends a lot of time of jacob's bad attitude. after joseph is gone, he is hanging on to benjamin for dear life. when the brothers tell him that they have to take benjamin to egypt, jacob freaks out. chuck notes that this guy is a partiarch! he has wrestled with angels and has received the promises of God. he should have the best attitude of them all, and he should be strengthening their faith; but instead, everyone has to strengthen his.

:: when joseph was in the dungeon, after being sent there by potiphar, he meets pharoah's cupbearer and baker. joseph has every right to a bad attitude in this situation. he has been sold into slavery, and then wrongfully accused of attacking mrs. potiphar, and then locked into a dungeon; but joseph apparently had a great attitude in the dungeon. he was put in charge of the entire prison, and when he sees pharoah's two officials he asks them, "why are your faces so sad today?" personally, I would answer, "oh, I don't know... maybe its because I'M IN A DUNGEON?!" you need to have a great attitude to get your focus off of yourself and onto others. you need to have a great attitude to encourage others. and you need a great attitude to serve others, which is exactly what he did to the cupbearer and baker. swindoll points out that if he were joseph, he wouldn't want anything to do with dreams ever again, but joseph listens to their dreams and interprets them. that's a great attitude.

:: at the end of the book, swindoll says, "greatness is revealed mainly in our attitudes." he says that "it takes God to make a heart right. when I have a bad attitude, I look at life humanly. when I have a great attitude, I look at life divinely." he says that joseph was great, "mainly because of his attitude." he ends his chapter on attitude saying, "walk by faith, trusting God to renew your attitude." it takes faith to have a great attitude- faith that God is in control of my situation and that He has good in mind for me.

so I ask you the same things I'll ask my students and myself: how is your attitude? is it sabotaging your relationships, your opportunities and your future? or is your attitude revealing greatness? a great attitude comes from God. it is the fruit of His spirit in our lives. so plant yourself in Him and and let your sparkle shine.

God is love.
-rev-rob

profiles in attitude: joseph

since the beginning of the year I have been thinking a lot about my attitude and about how to have a great attitude. as I have been reading through the Bible, its amazing just how much it talks about attitude without actually talking about it. one of the best examples of a great attitude from the pages of scripture is joseph from the book of genesis.




we all know the story, but its fascinating to look at his story from the perspective of his attitude. as a young man, joseph is given dreams that one day his family will bow down to him. he tells them to his family and they hate him for it- especially his brothers. they end up beating him and eventually selling him onto slavery and faking his death.


he is hated by his family, beaten by his brothers, and sold off into slavery-
at this point, joseph has earned a bad attitude, but instead, he has a great attitude.


he makes up his mind to be the best slave that he can be- and eventually his owner, potiphar leaves him in charge of all of his business affairs.
but potiphar's wife falsely-accuses joseph of attacking her, and he is sent to a dungeon.
again, at this point, joseph has earned the right to have a bad attitude-
all he did was a great job, and it landed him in a dungeon.


but instead, he has a great attitude.
he makes up his mind to be the best prisoner he can be and he is put in charge of the prison.
he even chooses to be friendly to the other prisoners.


one of his friends was released and promised to put in a good word for joseph, but he forgot. and joseph stayed in there for several more years.
again, he earned his right to be negative-
but instead, is gracious to the pharaoh when he is finally released.


the pharaoh put him in charge of all of Egypt- and he made the pharaoh richer and more powerful than ever.
and when joseph had the power to get revenge on his brothers, he showed grace-
that is a great attitude.


a lot of times we are convinced that we have earned the right to be rude, or to complain, or to be bitter, but none of us have dealt with what joseph dealt with; and if he found a way to do his best and be a likeable person in the situations that he faced, then surely we can choose to have a great attitude in the trials that we endure.


a couple of things that I notice about joseph are:
:: his bosses liked him. they like having his close to them. what did he do to inspire that kind of confidence and trust? how can we learn from that?


:: joseph gave it his very best at whatever he did. whether it was running a dungeon, or running the Egyptian empire, he gave it his very best.


:: as far as I can see, we have no record of joseph ever complaining or blaming anyone for his circumstances. in the situations that we find him being rude to his brothers, its all a part of the act that he puts on to be reunited with his father and with his brother Benjamin. instead, he just does his job with excellence, kindness and grace.


:: we have all heard that phrase, “you can be bitter or you can be better.” joseph didn’t just say that, he lived it. he forgave the people that hurt him and then chose to bless them and share his wealth with them. when he father two sons, he named them Manasseh, and Ephraim; whose names mean, “I forgot” and “fruitful.” in other words, “I’m letting go and choosing to grow.” and all of this was before he was reconciled with his brothers. amazing.


this is the kind of person that I want to be: forgiving, gracious, likeable, trustworthy and with a great attitude. hopefully I don’t need to go what joseph went through to get there.


God is love.
-rev-rob

lectio divina:: proverbs

I’m finishing up the book of proverbs in preparation for a series in middle school this summer: the quest for solomon’s treasure. I’ve read proverbs a bunch of times, and when I read it, it sounds fairly familiar. but with my recent study on attitude, I saw an old verse in a new way.

there are 4 different times that proverbs talks about “the quarrelsome wife.” usually I read this and thank god that I don’t live with a quarrelsome wife, and feel sorry with those who do. but this time it sounds a little different. here are the four verses:

Proverbs 19:13

“A foolish son is his father's ruin,

and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.”

Proverbs 21:19

“Better to live in a desert

than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”

Proverbs 25:24

“Better to live on a corner of the roof

than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

Proverbs 27:15

“A quarrelsome wife is like

a constant dripping on a rainy day;”

so the quarrelsome wife is like constant dripping- they are annoying- they drive you crazy; and you would rather live in a desert, or on the corner of your roof than spend time with them.

this doesn’t just apply to quarrelsome wives- this applies to a quarrelsome anyone. this applies to people with complaining, bad attitudes. the Bible says what we’ve all known all along- no one wants to be around someone with a bad attitude- they are not likable. complaining drives other people crazy. complaining can be so cathartic, and people may entertain you when you have a bad attitude; but in reality, they would rather be anywhere else than around a complainer.

so a good attitude isn’t just good for the soul, its good for relationships too. I recently read this quote from wayne cordeiro in his book on attitude. he’s from Hawaii and he says that a great attitude is like a Hawaiian lei. when you wear it, everyone you interact with has a pleasant aroma when you are near. and no matter who you’re with, or where you go, everything smells sweet. but when you have a bad attitude, its like wearing a lei made out of dead fish. you stink, and so does everyone else. whether we wear a fragrance or an odor is up to us.

I know some people that smell fishy, and I know some people that smell fragrant; and I want to be fragrant. I want my demeanor to be attractive. it’s a choice.

God is love.

-rev-rob

attitude::gratitude

I was searching through my old blogs, looking for my chipper story, and I ran across this post from almost 3 years ago. I wrote it after an absolutely awful night in middle school ministry. looking back on that night, I can see that I had a message that I was really proud of; I had a game that I was sure was a winner; but I had very few adults there. also- I had a group of very rebellious middle school boys that seemed to run the show week in and week out.


I compare that night with what I experienced last night. last night I didn't speak at all. the game was pretty good, not legendary. and there was still a group of rebellious boys there; but last night was fabulous. the difference? an incredible team of volunteers. when the boys acted up, I asked one of the many male staff there to go and talk with them and they did- and the boys settled down. even though the game wasn't off the chart crazy, it was still super-fun because of the love and joy that was in the room. and instead of me speaking, each of those awesome small group leaders took a few students and listened to them, prayed with them, and taught them the Bible.


3 years ago I was ready to quit. I was sure that I had nothing to contribute to youth ministry. today- I'm looking forward to years and years of middle school ministry. my passion for this work has never been brighter. and it goes back to those amazing voluteers. tanya came to group, even though she had sharks tickets. I reminded john that he will be inducted into the small group leaders' hall of fame when he enters heaven. we had a brand new staffer come an hour early, just so she could be prepared. we had another brand new adult come out and ask to join the team. I could tell story after story- I'm sure that there were a thousand amazing things that happened that I dodn't even hear about. I walked the halls looking for some rebellious kids to put to work, but in every room I saw groups of students huddled around their leaders, having great conversations. God is good.


I needed to see things with new eyes- and I credit my friend justin for helping me to see the amazing value of having a large staff team. and I thank God for the gift that He has blessed me with in this wonderful group of leaders; and this incredible new paradigm for ministry. I often talk with other youth pastors and I hear them groan with the same tones that I did in that blog three years ago. and I tell them about the awesome team at 678. They never believe it when I tell them how many are on the team, and how skillfully they connect with kids. I really wish and pray that each of these leaders would be blessed like I have been.


so- the next time I think that I'm God's gift to youth ministry, and that I can do it all on my own, and that its all about me, I'll remember the night that we broke a broom off a kid's ankle and remember- that its not about me at all. its about WE.


God is love.
-rev-rob

lectio divina:: 1 thessalonians

I have been highlighting scriptures that demonstrate how to have a great attitude, and I recently read what seemed to me as the granddaddy of the scriptures on attitude.

1 Thessalonians 5:14:
“Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.
15 See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people.
16 Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”

in verse 14, God tells us to warn lazy people and encourage timid people-
it tells us to be patient, not impatient, and to be a caring person.
that’s what people with a great attitude DO!
and that the kind of person that I want to be.

in verse 15 it tells us not to be a hater, and instead, to always try to do good to everyone.
who DOESN’T want to be that person?

and in 16-18, it blatantly tells us that its God’s WILL that I’m joyful, that I’m praying, and that I’m grateful.

put simply, its God’s will for you and me to have an attractive, positive, believing attitude.
its God’s will that I be an encourager, a thanker, and a pray-er.

as a Christian, I should have a smile. I should have a kind word ready to be said. I should believe that God is going to take care of things. I should be patient, and most of all, I should be humbled and grateful for the load of grace that has been lavished on me.

so that settles it! a bad attitude is not God’s will for you or me.
it doesn’t come naturally, but I need to have it, so I have been finding myself praying for it.
and I have been finding myself looking for things to be grateful for when I feel like grumbling;
and it really makes a difference.

God is love.
rev-rob

lectio divina:: philippians

this year, one of my primary goals is to be known and marked by a good attitude. I think about this often; today I was reading through Philippians, and paul puts on a clinic on having a good attitude.

for context, remember that paul is writing Philippians from a prison cell, awaiting his execution. he has a right to have a bad attitude. instead, he shows what a great attitude really looks like. here are some notes from my journal on this:

people with a great attitude are marked by GRATITUDE.

even in the face of his execution, Paul thanks everyone. he thanks the Philippians, and he thanks God. in verse 1:3 he writes, “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.” people with bad attitudes don’t do that!

people with a great attitude are marked by VERBAL AFFECTION.

paul takes time to personally thank and bless others with his words. in 1:7 he says to the philippians, “So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart.” and in 4:1 he says, “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stay true to the Lord. I love you and long to see you, dear friends, for you are my joy and the crown I receive for my work.” he also gives some special verbal praise to his friend Timothy. people with bad attitudes don’t do that!

people with a great attitude are marked by FAITH.

even though he was in his darkest hour, paul believed that God was in control of both the presnt and the future, and that God can do anything. in 1:20 he writes, “For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die.” and in that famous passage in 4:13 paul says, “For I can do everything through Christ,[c] who gives me strength.”

people with a great attitude are marked by OPTIMISM.

since paull believed that God is in control, he could see the glass as hal full. and he encourages the Philippians to do so as well. in 1:12 he says, “And I want you to know, my dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News.” in other words, his imprisonment is a good thing. even his execution would be a good thing! he says, “But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy.” and he tells the Philippians to be optimistic, positive and grateful in Philippians 4:4, “Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do.” paul never complains about his situation and he tells the Philippians in 2:14, “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you.” (that’s a pretty good verse to memorize if you want to grow in a good attitude!)

people with a great attitude are marked by A FOCUS ON OTHERS.

no one had a better attitude than jesus; and paul says it clearly in chapter 2: “You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave…”

just before that he writes, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

people with a bad attitude don’t do that!

but we should.

be others centered. and a person with a big faith.

be a person who genuinely thanks God and others.

and watch how God uses you this year.

God is love.

-rev-rob

lectio divina:: 2 corinthians 6

I was reading this chapter this morning and it reminded me of my commitment this year to have a great attitude. paul write is verse 1:


"We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry. In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food. We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love. "


even in the face of hardships, paul and his team have a great attitude. their focus is on god and on others, not on themselves. their great attitude is their identification; it is their credibility. its interesting to me the components of attitude for paul:
patience;
purity;
understanding;
kindness;
the indwelling of the Spirit;
and sincere love.


that's the kind of people that I want to be around, and those are the characteristics that I want to mark my life in this year.


God is love.
-rev-rob

one more goal for 2010:

tonight at the gym I was reminded of one more resolution that I have for this year:

this year is the year of the great attitude.

the year of encouragement.

the year of sparkle, of interest in others, and gladly helping others.

this is the year of no complaints.

I have blogged about some of the people that I know that have great attitudes. guys like gary and Lloyd. these guys are always glad to see me, always encouraging, always positive, and always in a great mood.

there is another person I know who works at the togo’s on Camden and almaden- whenever I go in, I always try to get to talk to her- because of her great attitude. whenever I see her I always ask, “how are you doing?” and like clockwork, she answers, “I can’t complain!” with a smile.

I want to be like her- and like Lloyd and gary, and like the many other people I know who are known for having a great attitude.

I have read several good books on the subject, and I want to implement these more than ever. I do ok at this from time to time, but this year I want a good attitude to mark me and my interactions with others. I don’t want to fake it, I just want to leave the people I meet encouraged. this is a big stretch for me; I’m a quiet person. I like being alone. I like accomplishing goals and being on time. sometimes when people discover that you’re willing to listen, they’ll just talk all day. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes, but I want to establish a habit that will begin now and continue for years to come.

Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

God is love.

-rev-rob

church::gym entry 22

I have upped my cardio time from 30 minutes to 60 minutes. I haven't got the hang of it yet. I'm still working on it. today I got on the exercise bike and started pedaling. a younger guy got on the bike next to me and said, "are you going for 60 minutes again?!" I totally forgot that he and I had talked about this a few weeks before. "oh yeah," I said. "I'm trying to get the hang of it. its still pretty hard for me."
"I don't think I could ever do that!" he said.
"sure you could." I answered. it just popped out of my mouth. like an exhale.
at that moment I realized that I was being for him like gary has been for me.
at that moment I realized that I was not only being like gary, I had a responsibility to be like gary. so I poured on the encouragement. I gave him some tips. when he finished his 30 minutes I said, "good job bro! you did it! you'll be up to 60 minutes in no time!"
when he walked out, he gave me a head nod, and I could tell that my words had lifted him up.


everyone of us has received encouragement, training, inspiration, and courage from someone else. that can't just end with you- its got to go forward. if you're a believer, someone shared the gospel with you. that can't end with you- its got to go forward to someone else. and then it needs to go forward from them as well. the apostle paul said it this way to timothy, the one that he was investing in:
"and the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others."


who has invested in you?
go and be like them and invest in someone else.
it can't just end with you-
its got to go forward.
you have a responsibility.


God is love.
-rev-rob

church//gym:: entry 21

I walked into the gym tonight and there was a basketball game going on in the basketball gym. even from a distance, i could hear the players trash talking each other (at the church-gym!) i walked up to the desk to check in and said to my friend who works there, “i can hear those guys trash talking from way over there!” “I know!” he said. “how about less chit-chat, and more BALLIN’?!”


as i went into the locker room, I was thinking of that statement. at this point, it would be easy for me to take a pot-shot at churches and say that they have too many meetings and committees and not enough serving and acts of love. too much chit-chat, not enough ballin’. but Idon’t even know if that’s true. I can speak for myself, though. what about me? I can preach a sermon about serving and compassion and good works, but how is my game? how is yours? we could all step it up when it comes to serving, giving, encouraging, visiting, witnessing, and going. less chit-chat, more ballin’.


God is love.
-rev-rob

two friends with cancer

2 of my friends died this month of cancer.


the first one was my friend devonna.
I became a Christian when I was 16. I was quickly welcomed into a group of friends that went to my church and my school. one of those friends was a guy named seth. devonna was his mom. it seemed like the youth group was always over at seth’s house, swimming at his pool, and hanging out with his parents. after college, seth moved out to san jose and I wasn’t far behind. later on, he and his family joined venture, our church. (who would have thought that we would go to the same church after all these years and I would be one of the ministers at that church?!) one night at church seth told me that his mom was dying of cancer. as the weeks went on, he told me that they were getting ready for her service. I wrote her a card saying that you for being an encouraging adult to me when I was a new Christian. she received it just before she died. I went to modesto for her funeral. the church was packed. there were so many adults there who were former students in the youth group. my friend lin got up to speak and said, “one of the few good things about cancer is that you can prepare for your funeral. devonna has written her won eulogy…” it was a sweet tribute to her husband and children, and the people who had impacted her life. my friend pam sang a song called “somewhere its snowing.” it was a song that we used to sing during Christmas musicals. I was choking back tears. she was a great lady.


my other friend that died this month was named ed. when I first came to the church, he was doing high school ministry, while I did junior high and college. we were fast-friends. more like brothers. we could make each other laugh out loud, and make each other furious in the same day. we used to talk for hours about everything. he drove me nuts, because he hated to study for his sermons, but when it came time for him to actually give his sermon, it came out so smoothly. he was a natural. the classic youth pastor. students loved to be around ed. he used to walk into my office randomly and do this pat-benatar-shoulder-shake, singing “WE ARE YOUNG! LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD!” I fell out of my chair laughing everytime. ed eventually moved to sacramento. we talked regularly over the years. I was sitting in a conference last month and one of my friends called and said, “did you hear about ed? he has cancer and only a year to live.” I told him it was a rumor. but it turned out that he had actually spoken with him. it was true. the next day I went to see him in the hospital. he was in absolute agony. I spent the entire time chasing down nurses and trying to get him more pain meds. they finally gave him more pain medication and he went to sleep immediately. I wept the whole way home. ed died earlier this month- way sooner than they thought he would. I got to call him hours before he died and told him that I loved him and that it was all going to be fine. through the whole experience, he was trying to encourage others. he was never afraid, instead he was full of hope and sure that God was calling him home.


one time ed and I were sitting in my office talking about everything, and the afterlife came up. ed said, “I was thinking, what if God rejects me when I face Him? if He did, I could go through eternity with the joy that I had seen Him face to face, and that I had been in His presence if only for a moment…”
I can’t even imagine the joy and peace that ed is experiencing now at home in the presence of God. he was a great friend, a great dad, a great husband, and incredible youth pastor.

church::gym entry 15

there is this guy at the gym who gets on this climbing machine every morning. he has worked out on it every day for over a year- but he doesn’t seem to be making any progress. he doesn’t seem to be working out that hard. he’s not sweating- he carries on conversations while he rides it. he gets tired, but he doesn’t get any closer to his goal.


I was watching his do this again today and thinking about my own work out regime- I get sweaty every day and still seem to make only a little bit of progress. as I was running along on the elliptical machine I couldn’t help but think that he and I are doing something wrong- and if we just asked a coach for help we could probably do much better.


and I started thinking about the many, many religious people in the world. so many are just like my gym-buddy and i: working and working, but never get any nearer to their goal; fasting and praying and reading and serving and abstaining, but never getting any closer to God; never becoming more godly. its seems that they are in the same boat as me: something’s not right. they’re doing something wrong. they need a coach to help them see it all differently. maybe they are like me and my gym-buddy: working and working, but never seeing any results.


with God, its not how much sweat you put into it, it’s the attitude that you have;
its the position that you take.


david said it in psalm 51: “You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”


Samuel said in 1 Samuel 15, “does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD?
to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
for rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.”


in amos God says, “I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies. even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps.
but let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!”


it seems that God would rather have justice than worship services and humility rather than sacrifices.


and it seems that we get near God not necessarily by working for God, but humbling ourselves; by having a broken spirit; by making sure that no one is being exploited or mistreated.
we get nearer to God by associating with the lowly of the world.


david said, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."


if the LORD is near the broken-hearted, then maybe we are closest to Him when we are closest to them.


I wonder if my gym-buddy and I really did learn the secrets of reaching our goals if we would actually do them. or would we just keep doing our routine and tell ourselves that it will pay off eventually?


I wonder if the religious really knew that God would much rather me take care of the sick and hungry than be a good Christian (or good catholic or good whatever) if we rally would? or would we just go back to our routine and tell ourselves that its all paying off- a little at a time?


Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice. 'For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."


maybe we have spent so much effort being religious, that we have forgotten that we are actually the sick in need of a doctor. maybe we have spent so much time telling ourselves that we are righteous that we have forgotten that we’re really the sinners that Jesus is calling to come near to Him.

likeability in action 01

like i said in my last blog, i read this book called, the likeability factor- and I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually. i think about it when i interact with others, and often find myself asking, “how likeable am i right now?” “am i doing things that are unlikeable?” “how can i be friendly right now?” one of the questions the author encourages readers to ask is, “have i made anyone smile today?” I’ve been asking myself all of these questions when i meet someone, and i have to say that its made a big impact on my interactions with others.


here is one example: today i was out with jane and Deanna was getting the oil changed in my car. we were in the same neighborhood so we met up. good thing too, because while they were changing my oil, my check engine light came on. this situation graduated from a Deanna errand to a rob errand. the guys at jiffy lube told me that their sensor wasn’t working and that i should go to another jiffy lube. and i did. I turned on my l-factor. i really tried to be friendly to the guys that were helping me. i made an effort to be interested in them and to have a friendly demeanor. normally, i would go in all mad because they broke my car and their stuff wasn’t working, and they were wasting my time, but i tried a whole different route. and i got great service. the second jiffy lube couldn’t figure it out either, but they promised that if i found a sensor that could diagnose the problem that they would fix it for free.


i went to kragen and again get it my best to be friendly, interested, empathetic and authentic- and again, i got some great help. one of the managers called one of his mechanic friends to try and help me for free. he couldn’t get a hold of his friend, but he gave me his card and told me to call later so that he could connect me with his friend.


i kept driving to the ford dealership and told them what had happened and again, gave it my best to be friendly, interested, and empathetic. they told me, “we don’t want to charge you for this, so let’s just look under the hood.” the guy said, “these systems are very unique. and when this plug (he held up and unplugged-plug) are unhooked, your check engine light turns on!” he plugged it back in, and sent me on my way. i called all of my new friends who helped me and thanked them again.


wow! not only dies this work, but its just more fun to be friendly than to be a jerk. we believe a lie that if we storm in and demand our rights and be a jerk, then people will bend over backwards to help us. that’s just not true.


so i’m going to keep it up and see what happens. and whether i get free stuff or good service or even a new friend, I’ll know that i had much more fun than i would have if i was acting rude, and I’ll know that i passed on a blessing, and made someone smile.

unfriendliness is a weakness.

i was reading wide awake, by Erwin mcmanus, and he mentioned two books by tim sanders, and of course, i picked them up. i’m almost finished with the first one, the likeability factor. this is a fascinating book- and i recommend it to everyone. he basically claims that success is dependent on the choices of others- and choices are based on likeability more than anything else. people who are likeable do well, and people that aren’t don’t.


the book goes on to give strategies to improve likeability (all of these can also be found in the pages of scripture); the first and most important element to enhance likeability is friendliness (duh). and one of the primary ways to improve friendlieness is to rid unfriendliness from your life (again, duh.) but this is where it gets good. he writes something that puts into words something i’ve been trying to put into words for awhile. he says this:


“unfriendliness is a weakness. every time you’re unfriendly with someone, you’ve experienced a failure to control yourself."


"friendliness is a strength. when you’ve been friendly, you’ve been strong. you’ve flexed your friendliness muscles. challenge yourself to maintain friendliness despite the stimuli around you. don’t succumb to the weakness of unfriendliness. make it a matter of pride.”


sadly, i have seen way too many see unfriendliness as a sign of strength. i’ve seen way too many people treat others with unfriendliness and walk away thinking that they displayed strength or somehow did what was right. i've seen way too many people think that they had the right to be unfriendly because they were in a position of power. when in reality, their actions prove that they are powerless over their own emotions. “unfriendliness is a weakness. every time you’re unfriendly with someone, you’ve experienced a failure to control yourself.”


if you can walk away from a stressful situation where someone “below you” disappoints you or frustrates you and you can still be friendly/ polite, you are the strong one.


friendliness is not a sign of weakness or tolerance for disrespect. i think that this is what jesus was getting at when he told us to turn the other cheek and to give up our cloak. when we are in control of our emotions, we are the strong ones, not the bullies in our lives. friendliness is a sign of strength. so be strong, be friendly, “make it a matter of pride.”


seriously, pick up this book. you won’t regret it.

spoiled

I started a thought on sunday morning during my offering meditation that I think that I’ll finish here.


how do you keep yourself from becoming spoiled?


everyone knows what a spoiled kid looks like:
ungrateful;
demanding;
selfish;
pouting;
having everything, yet never satisfied;
materialistic;
without compassion for others.


I love to buy jane gifts, but I need to control myself for the sake of her heart. I don’t want her to think that she deserves everything that she sees. I want her to understand that when she gets a gift, that it’s a gift; not her salary for being my kid.


when we were children, our parents monitored whether we were spoiled or not. some parents do a great job with this, some don’t. when we’re grown, we don’t have anyone who monitors whether we are spoiled or not. we have to keep ourselves from becoming spoiled rotten. but how?


as I typed that list of what a spoiled kid looks like, I can’t help but think that it describes so many people in the world that I live in. in a lot of ways, that list describes me.


it seems that once our parents stop monitoring whether we our spoiled or not, no one does. we don’t seem to monitor ourselves very well. we buy anything, and everything that we want, without giving consideration to those that have nothing, or what these self-gifts are doing to our hearts.


how do you keep yourself from being spoiled?
maybe we need to say to ourselves the same things that our parents used to say to us:
“you don’t need that.”
“we can’t afford that.”
“you’ll stop caring about that in a week.”
“think of the kids who have nothing.”
“you have so many toys already, you don’t have space for anymore.”
“wait until christmas.”


how do we keep ourselves from being spoiled?
by saying no to ourselves.
by becoming content with what we have.
by sharing what we have with the poor and with the church.
by supporting great organizations that are helping others.
by having an open hand with our money to God.
by remembering that there are so many that have so little.


jane and I had a funny conversation the other night. we were looking online at some mickey mouse golf clubs, when we saw a mickey mouse shopping cart with all kinds of mickey mouse groceries in it.
she said to me, “I need that dad.”
I told her, “you already HAVE a shopping cart! you don’t need 2!”
“but this one is a MICKEY shopping cart.” she said.
“you make a pretty good point.” I said.

church//gym: entry13

this morning I started a spin class at the gym. it was fun- the instructor is a very cool lady with tons of energy. I was spinning along and enjoying myself, and the other people next to me were moaning and groaning. they were saying, “I’m not used to this!” “I never use these muscles!” “I’m getting sore!” and the instructor just said, “if you want to go to the next level, its not going to be easy. it usually involves something new- and it usually hurts.”


what a great line. especially when it comes to going to the next level spiritually. praying doesn’t hurt, neither does reading your bible. but “if you want to go to the next level, its not going to be easy. it usually involves something new- and it usually hurts.”
what hurts spiritually?
as I was driving home, I was thinking about that.
confessing your sins to a friend hurts.
choosing humility hurts.
serving in a foreign land or with a foreign group of people may not actually hurt, but its hard, and can be scary.
trying something new, like leadership hurts.
apologizing and seeking someone’s forgiveness hurts.
giving sacrificially hurts.
fasting hurts.


all of these things hurt.
but they are a great way to take it to the next level.
we all have the same choice that my friends next to me in spinning class have:
I know it hurts. and I know that this will be great for me, but will I actually do it?
or will I just try it once?
will I just watch others?
like the old saying goes:
no pain, no gain.

church//gym: entry12

as I have been working out next to my friend gary, I have picked up that his wife was very sick for a long time. I later learned that she passed away. he told me that her passing led to him going to church again. I don’t really probe, it just comes out as we talk.


he was sharing with me that he was going on a trip to reno- to have something to look forward to. when he got back, I asked him how it was, and he didn’t seem to have a very good time. he told me that he and his wife used to go to reno, and just being there without her made him really sad. I asked him how long it had been since she passed and he said 10 months. I thought it was a lot longer, since he seems like he has been in church for years.


this lady, carol started talking to him about his trip (she was the one who was asking him about his dizzy spells in front of everyone). he shared with her that he doesn’t gamble, but that his wife used to like to play slot machines; so he put one token in her favorite machine and said, “this is for you, babe.”
it paid out $1800 right there. he felt happy to have the money, and he felt that the Lord gave him a special moment to remember her. he also shared that he gets lonely. carol offered to have dinner with him sometimes, but she made sure to tell him that it wouldn’t be a date (yeah right, carol!)


I was on the elliptical next to him, sweating and breathing hard as he told this story, and I didn’t have anything to say; but I felt a lot closer to him as he shared it.


what does this have to do with church?
I don’t know-
we all have stories that are waiting to be told.
we all have pains that need to be comforted and healed.
we all have a need for friendship, community, and grace.


here this guy was encouraging me,
even in the midst of his pain-
I really like gary.