later I found another rock at the bible store and kept it in my pocket- it reminded me to give those anxieties over to God- and of how much He cared for me in that moment. these rocks served as physical memory cards- and sometimes I would quote the verse out loud while I was holding it.
I got other rocks- each one addressing my response to fear and anxiety- they helped me to coach myself whenever I was headed into a situation that I was unsure about-
I eventually developed a collection of these rocks, and was able to choose which one would go in my pocket depending on the bible verse that I needed for that day.
when I walked around, I could hear these verse-rocks clicking against my keys in my pockets- it reminded me how how the Israelites kept verses sewn into the corners of their clothes and tied around their wrists.
sometimes when I was in a tense situation, I would just put my hands in my pocket and I was reminded of the promises that God has given us in the bible to watch us, care for us, deliver us and redeem us; and it gave me perspective, and helped to settle my heart.
eventually, I bought all of their rocks! of all of the "jesus-junk" I had ever seen there, these were by far the most helpful. I started thinking of other verses that I would like to have in my pocket and I began to look online for the manufacturer of these rocks or of some way I could create my own.
I didn't see anything that was reasonable, so I just made my own with a sharpie. this was one that I kept in my pocket for a few weeks. I felt that I was being argumentative and defensive, so I just decided to stop talking so much- and listening more.
this was the last rock that I made over that season. Its not a bible verse, just a saying, but I made it in hope that things would change and improve. there were days that I looked at this rock and didn't believe what I had written on it; it seemed to good to be true- but I kept it in my pocket nevertheless.
well, I can thank God that this rock- and all of my rocks in my pocket were right. God had never left me- He cared for my anxieties- He sustained me- He delivered me from my fears- He was my lamp and my salvation, just like the Bible (and my rocks in my pocket) had promised. and all of these problems made their way into and out of my life, just like so many before them.
now I have a box full of rocks- and I'm wondering what I should do with them. maybe I will display them as some sort of tribute to God- old testament style. or maybe I can hand one to a friend who needs one of them more than I do right now.
as I look back on this time, I can conclude that God is good, and His words are true; and this little practice can help calm your heart and focus it on the truths of the bible, which are eternal and bigger than our present circumstances.
God is love.