two friends with cancer

2 of my friends died this month of cancer.


the first one was my friend devonna.
I became a Christian when I was 16. I was quickly welcomed into a group of friends that went to my church and my school. one of those friends was a guy named seth. devonna was his mom. it seemed like the youth group was always over at seth’s house, swimming at his pool, and hanging out with his parents. after college, seth moved out to san jose and I wasn’t far behind. later on, he and his family joined venture, our church. (who would have thought that we would go to the same church after all these years and I would be one of the ministers at that church?!) one night at church seth told me that his mom was dying of cancer. as the weeks went on, he told me that they were getting ready for her service. I wrote her a card saying that you for being an encouraging adult to me when I was a new Christian. she received it just before she died. I went to modesto for her funeral. the church was packed. there were so many adults there who were former students in the youth group. my friend lin got up to speak and said, “one of the few good things about cancer is that you can prepare for your funeral. devonna has written her won eulogy…” it was a sweet tribute to her husband and children, and the people who had impacted her life. my friend pam sang a song called “somewhere its snowing.” it was a song that we used to sing during Christmas musicals. I was choking back tears. she was a great lady.


my other friend that died this month was named ed. when I first came to the church, he was doing high school ministry, while I did junior high and college. we were fast-friends. more like brothers. we could make each other laugh out loud, and make each other furious in the same day. we used to talk for hours about everything. he drove me nuts, because he hated to study for his sermons, but when it came time for him to actually give his sermon, it came out so smoothly. he was a natural. the classic youth pastor. students loved to be around ed. he used to walk into my office randomly and do this pat-benatar-shoulder-shake, singing “WE ARE YOUNG! LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD!” I fell out of my chair laughing everytime. ed eventually moved to sacramento. we talked regularly over the years. I was sitting in a conference last month and one of my friends called and said, “did you hear about ed? he has cancer and only a year to live.” I told him it was a rumor. but it turned out that he had actually spoken with him. it was true. the next day I went to see him in the hospital. he was in absolute agony. I spent the entire time chasing down nurses and trying to get him more pain meds. they finally gave him more pain medication and he went to sleep immediately. I wept the whole way home. ed died earlier this month- way sooner than they thought he would. I got to call him hours before he died and told him that I loved him and that it was all going to be fine. through the whole experience, he was trying to encourage others. he was never afraid, instead he was full of hope and sure that God was calling him home.


one time ed and I were sitting in my office talking about everything, and the afterlife came up. ed said, “I was thinking, what if God rejects me when I face Him? if He did, I could go through eternity with the joy that I had seen Him face to face, and that I had been in His presence if only for a moment…”
I can’t even imagine the joy and peace that ed is experiencing now at home in the presence of God. he was a great friend, a great dad, a great husband, and incredible youth pastor.