preschool thugs

as a parent, I see a lot of kid on kid violence.
I’m not sure what to do about it.
I see a lot of children basically mugging other children.

this happens just about anywhere that has toys for kids to play with.
sometimes we’re at a train table at a toy store or at barnes and noble, and Janie will be playing with a train, and then another kid will slowly approach jane, look her in the eyes, smile, slowly put their hand on her toy, nod their head and take it right out of her hand!

this makes jane so sad.
sometimes I politely say, “excuse me, I think she was playing with that first…”
sometimes I can’t because of proximity or the situation.
onetime jane was playing on a playground with some kids and a kid went up to jane, grabbed her face, and stole the sunglasses right off of her.
she was stunned. I flew into the playground to get the kid off of her, and to get her sunglasses, but the damage had been done. she was scared and sad.

I could tell story after story.
every time this happens I look around for the kid’s parent.
and every time, the kid’s parent is far away talking on their cell phone or dealing with one of their other kids, or just reading a book, completely checked out.
sometimes I’m tempted to just explode and say, “WHOSE KID IS THIS?! WHY DON’T YOU TEACH THEM SOME MANNERS OR SOMETHING?! IF YOU DON’T EVEN WANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO THEM, WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO HAVE THEM?!”

but I never have. I pray that I never will.
I know that there is a time and a place to involve a kid’s parent, but I haven’t truly been in that situation as of yet.
I saw one parent say to their kid (very loudly) "I'm sorry! I know its not fair when someone takes away your toy! I'm sorry that SOME PARENTS don't teach this to their kids! but you have to just deal with it!"

on friday, jane got a toy stolen again, and I couldn’t tell if I was more outraged or proud. probably more proud than angry. we were at the discovery museum, and jane was digging in some sand with a little scoop. an unattended girl came up and swiped it away from her.
jane kept her cool.
she said, “excuse me, can I have that back please?”
the girl ignored her.
I sort of doubt this girl spoke English- maybe Russian.
jane kept it up.
“excuse me, can I have that back please?” (I was so proud!)
the girl never gave it back. I wasn’t going to steal a toy from this little girl. so jane and I hugged it out and waited for another scoop to be available. I got to tell her how proud I was of her for using her words so kindly. we talked about how its really mean to take another kid's toy.
when a scoop became available, I shouted out (quietly) “jane! don’t set it down! hold it in your hand! if you let it go, someone will take it!”
I got some funny looks from the other parents.

what do you do?
I'd really like to know!
do you teach your kid to be a fighter?
do you teach your kids to grab stuff from other kids’ hands?
do you start fights with other parents?
(I know some have tried to pick a fight with me!)
or do you actually teach your kid to live the way jesus said to, and share?
turn the other cheek? put others first?
when I heard jane asking for her toy politely,
I could tell that Deanna has been coaching her-
and that she was putting this into practice.
I know that is part of the solution.
hopefully, when she is older, those strategies will work more and more.
until then, I’m not getting too far away from her on the playground.
those kids are thugs!
and those parents can be even worse!