you know you're a parent of a 4 year old if...

you know that you’re a parent of a 4 year old if:

you have the theme song to many-a-children’s show committed to memory. its not just committed to memory, it haunts you while you sleep.

you have more kids songs on your iPod than grown up songs; and more kids dvds than grown up movies.

you find yourself watching children’s tv worrying and wondering how this show is going to end.

some people watch children’s tv and think its either made by people on drugs or it simply makes no sense; but you understand it perfectly.

you have all kinds of funny rules like, “do NOT bam me when i’m on the phone!”

you know the perfect time of day and week to go to chuck e. cheese’s.

you use words that make no sense to anyone but your kid, like, “no more blast-offing!” or “the table is not for standing on!”

you think that sending your kid to sunday school with a cold should be a felony.

you’re a little too familiar with the children’s section at barnes and noble.

you have accidentally referred to yourself in the third person (as “daddy” or “mommy”) to one of your grown up friends.

you have a list of places where you can no longer go because your kid has either barfed there, wrecked something, or made a huge mess there.

it’s 9:30 in the morning, and you know exactly what’s playing on PBS, nickelodeon and Disney channel.

you have changed your mind about mini-vans and child-leashes.

you say things like, “no more fries until you eat something healthy! now eat a mcnugget!”

you know exactly how many errands you can get done before your kid needs to use the potty again. once they go, the countdown is on.

you have an internal gps that tells you how close you are to a park or a mcdonald’s.

both you and your kid have several children’s books committed to memory.

you can tell the identity of any of the trains on Thomas the train by just looking at them

you find yourself wishing you could get away with some of her comfy 4-year-old fashions, like footed pj’s, colorful crocs or overalls.

you have seriously thought through the possible ramifications of completely chewing out someone else’s kid.

you think coloring is cool again

you argue with your spouse over who gets to go run the errands and who has to stay home with the kids.

you have become a parenting snob and wonder why those people have a kid out at the mall at this late hour!

some might call it bribery or manipulation, you prefer to think of it as incentive, or encouragement to obedience.

you have had an extended conversation with your child about their pee or poo…on your cell phone…in public.

you know that a toy store/bookstore with a train table = cheap entertainment.

you have learned the discipline of keep a straight face when your kid says something that sounds dirty.

you’ve “Shh” ‘d your child because you couldn’t hear the end of the little einsteins episode.

you understand the controversy behind sam the yellow wiggle.

you dig in your pockets and you wonder where the dried up Kleenex and the crayons came from.

someone gives you money for your birthday and you think of what you can get for your kid with it.

you forgot what life was like before the kiddo.; and wonder why you thought that things like shopping for yourself or going to grown up movies was so fun.

you’re tired, but happy.