the box

today, Deanna said, “if you’re going to chuck e. cheese, there is a coupon in the envelope.”
the envelope?! what envelope?! i’m guessing that i should have known about the envelope.
i played it cool. “where is the envelope?” i asked.
“in the box.” she said.
the box. what box? we have a lot of boxes. this must be an important box. it has THE envelope in it.
she was assuming that i knew about THE box and THE envelope.

the more i thought about it, the more i realized that a lot of people talk with assumptions.
for example, when Janie tells me that she wants to go to THE park, or THE dollhouse store, THE bookstore, or even THE toystore, she doesn't have to be more specific, i know exactly which places she is talking about.

when i watch espn, they often talk about “THE play” or “THE catch” or “THE pass.”
i just play along and pretend that i know what they are talking about.

one time, i was hanging out with a friend and his wife called looking for “THE sponge.” what sponge? i wondered. he apparently knew exactly what she was talking about, and didn’t have it. another friend had a hilarious story; and people used to always ask him to tell THE story.

my whole town talks like this. they assume that you know what they are talking about when they talk about THE paper, or THE tank, or THE villages, THE hill, THE cats, THE beach, or THE city.

at my old church, everyone knew what you were talking about if you wanted to meet someone by “THE rock.” at my church, people meet by “THE steps” or by THE cross. there is a bunch of steps and crosses at the church, but everyone seems to know where to meet. at hume lake, there is THE ark, and THE cove, THE store, and THE rock. Christianity itself talks with assumptions when people talk about “spending time in THE word.” i wonder if people wonder: ‘the word? which word? you can spend time in a word? how much time?”

after thinking about it for awhile, i realized that i talk with assumptions too. i often make phone calls or send e-mails using the phrase, “hi this is rob from THE church.” i say to my wife, “i went to THE store and bought something on THE card.” she knows exactly what i’m talking about. and of course whenever someone asks where i want to go to lunch i say, “where else? THE grill.”

there are assumptions that i used to be able to use, but can’t anymore. when i lived in modesto, people gave directions by saying, “first get on THE freeway,” or “let’s meet at THE mall.” i can’t say that anymore. at my work we used to say, “go to THE printer.” now there are a dozen. we used to talk about THE service, but now there are 4.

you only talk like this if you share something in common with someone. its like an inside joke, but not as funny. so maybe when people talk with assumptions, they are just inviting you into a closer friendship. the next time you use an assumption, just remember that you share something in common with that person that you're talking with; you are connected on a level, be it a strong connection or not. i’ll let you ponder that while i’m off at THE gym. before i do, i need to look around for that box.