back in time

this year, one of the major themes of my teaching has been bullying. i researched the issue all summer. i have spoken on bullying dozens of times this year in several different venues, and each time it seems to strike a chord. i can’t talk about bullying without sharing my story of being a victim of bullies in junior high. and i can’t tell that story without referring to the movie that gave gasoline to the fire of my bullies: back to the future. this movie has a bully named biff and a victim named george mcfly.
when i was in junior high, every 8th grade boy was possessed by the spirit of biff- and to each of them i was known only by the name “mcfly.”

i showed a clip from the movie on Sunday morning and it got me thinking about all of those movies where someone goes back in time and lives their life over again. i started thinking, “what would i do differently if i went back in time and lived junior high all over again, knowing what i know now?” here are some thoughts:

:: i would probably spend more time with my parents. like most junior highers, i withdrew from them during these years. i’d learn more things from my dad, like how to fix things, and how to drive a stick (we lived on a farm, and the tractor was a stick shift- he taught my uncle how to drive a stick shift on that tractor). if i went back in time, i’d fight with my dad a lot less, and i’d help him a lot more.

:: i wouldn’t get too bothered by those bullies. if i went back in time, i’d probably get to know them and laugh along with them. i didn’t fight them then, and i wouldn’t fight them if i did it all over again.

:: i would avoid the drama of junior high girls all together.

:: i’d pay attention during math- its always been my worst subject. i would do better at school in general- that way i’d do better in high school.

:: i’d go out for football. i’ve always regretted never getting interested in it earlier. who knew there was a big person waiting to be born out of that scrawny frame?

:: i’d get over to first baptist a lot sooner. i never went until high school. if i had shown up earlier, i could have avoided a lot of mistakes, and had support for a difficult time. that’s one of the reasons it bugs me when students take youth group for granted- they don’t know how much caring people and a relationship with God can not only improve your life, but protect you as well.

:: i would have thanked a lot of adults who looked out for me. i would have actually listened to what they were saying.

:: i would join band class and learn music-

:: i could have learned computer science and become a billionaire, but if i went back, i still probably wouldn’t.

:: i wouldn’t pretend to be someone else- i’d just be me. i was pretty cool as i was, i don’t know why i felt like i had to be someone else.

:: P.E. at my school was like boot camp. there were uniforms, ranks, obstacle courses, showers, etc. if i went back, i would work even harder at P.E. like they say, pain is temporary, but pride lasts forever.

:: i’d spend more time with my brother. he was 6 years younger, which put him at 6 years old when i was 12- not the kind of friends i was looking for. but if i went back, i’d make more memories with him.

:: of course i’d avoid some decisions that led to consequences- lies, bad friends, reckless words-

so let's see: if i went back in time, i'd spend time with my parents, spend time with my little brother, go to church, i'd be friendly to bullies, i'd do well at school, i'd join band and listen to adults and stay away from girls and bad kids.
in short, if i went back in time, i'd be a nerd!
maybe that's the true revenge of the nerds: they grow up knowing more and have fewer regrets. maybe that's the secret of a life with no regrets: be a nerd!
cool is overrated!
so are junior high relationships!

anyhow, the reality is, i can’t go back. and if somehow God gave me the chance, i doubt that i would take it. junior high was awful. it still is- that’s why i do what i do, because i empathize. but since i can’t go back, i’ve got to live right now- so that when i’m old and grey, i won’t wonder how life would have been different if i made better choices in the days i’m living in right now.

“i have seen the burden God has laid on men.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
i know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy
and do good while they live.
that everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—
this is the gift of God.
i know that everything God does will endure forever;
nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.
God does it so that men will revere him.
whatever is
has already been,
and what will be
has been before;
and God will call the past
to account.”

-ecclesiastes 3