rev-jane

jane and Deanna have been serving in the 4 year olds class at church on Saturday nights. this is a big deal, because jane is a 9 year old child, but she is serving children- and I think its super cool. so does she.

one night, my students were in small groups, and I was looking for some cookies from the ushers' closet, and I walked by the window of the 4 year olds class and saw jane in a rocking chair with a little boy, and she was reading him a story. so cool!

every Saturday night when I come home, I get a review of what happened in kids church (which jane attends) and from the 4 year old class. last Saturday, Deanna started telling me about 4 year old class when Jane interrupted and said, "Mom- I want to tell him!" I could tell this was going to be good.

from what I could tell, it was a very unique situation: there were 3 four year old boys, 2 mom-helpers (one of them was Deanna), and 1 kid helper, Jane. One boy melted down and had to leave- but his mom was the other mom helper besides Deanna. That left 2 boys, and Deanna and Jane to watch them. Deanna was about to start the bible lesson when a second boy was melting down. Deanna had to tell the childrens workers to call his mom, but that would mean that she had to step out for a second with the boy- which left Jane with the third boy. Deanna was only gone long enough to tell the workers to call his mom, but Jane insisted that she could tell the bible story to the third boy.

So she says to me, "Dad- I did the bible lesson tonight."
 "what?!" I asked-
"yup. I did it. I used the puppets and the stuffed animals and I told the little boy how God created all of the animals. he really liked how I used the stuffed animals to tell the story."

I was a little speechless. "Jane- YOU did the bible story?!"
"yup. it was fun!"
we immediately discussed what kind of special reward she would get for doing something so brave, mature and others-centered.

I tell kids about God all the time. and I find a lot of satisfaction in that. now my kid got a taste of what its like to serve God and help others. and I'm so, so pleased, deep down in my heart by that. I've been praying for something like that.

I'm so glad that children's ministry gave Jane that opportunity- now we need to find ways to fan that flame.

God is love.
-rev-rob

hume lake 2014

Last week was year number 14 at hume lake! To be honest, I couldn’t have scripted it any better. There were no major discipline issues, no major injuries (no trips to the hospital!), no major vehicle problems- but instead, there was a crowd of students with great attitudes. We had a team of great counselors- and hume always has a great team of workers. The theme was delightful and silly, and still made its point. We had many students make significant decisions for Christ. It seems that all of them had a great experience. Every leader has their own stories from camp, and so this list certainly isn’t an exhaustive list of all of the wonderful things that happened, but this is my personal list of fun memories:

// on the first day, the cabins all got together and had some “get to know you time.” This one counselor asked her group, “what is the thing you love to do?” one girl answered, “I really love singing. Actually, would you mind if I sang you a number?” the counselor said, “sure!” so the girl started to sing, “let it go” from frozen. Except, this wasn’t just a few bars, she sang the entire song- she PERFORMED the entire song, right there on the grass to her cabin. She gave it everything she had. The counselor was surprised by this and wondered if the girls would tease her. To her surprise, the girls were all enjoying the song, and then ALL joined in at the chorus. And they weren’t “singing” or being wacky, they ALL PERFORMED that song with all they had. The counselor thought it was ridiculous; but when she told me the story, I thought it was adorable.

// during the singing time, I looked around, and saw all of the students- even the boys- just going for it. They were really into it- eyes closed, hands raised- part of me was a little jealous, because they don’t do that at my meetings! But mostly I was encouraged.

// I was sitting on the shore of the pond one day with some leaders, when some students started freaking out. A girl had a really bad bloody nose. I went up to her and asked if she was all right. She said, “yeah- it happens all the time. My nose just bleeds. Its like a period.”

I stopped.
“what?!”
She answered- “you know- like a period.”
I looked over at the other leaders and they all darted away so as not to embarrass her with their giggling.
I said, “oh- like a period. Ok.”

// we had this new counselor, ilse. She wanted to be baptized. We don’t usually di baptisms at hume, because we want grandma and grandpa to be able to watch it too. But she insisted and said that if she were baptized at hume, there might be some negative response. So we spent our church time talking about baptism and listening to her testimony. And then I said, “well everyone, LET’S GO OUT TO THE POOL!” and they all let out a cheer and we baptized ilse at the pool at hume lake. All 100 students gave her a hug and cheered for her. So cool!

// I was also reminded that it was at this spot, 13 years ago, that God broke my heart for middle schoolers and called me to serve them:

// I didn’t have a cabin of my own, so I didn’t really have a place to sit at meals. But 2 boys let me sit with them. Every meal this one would tell me the most epic stories. The only problem was that the cafeteria was so loud, and he spoke so quietly that I couldn’t hear a word he said. All I could see was his epic facial expressions.

This boy discovered that I love star wars and the clone wars. We discussed many, many episodes at length over many meals.

 

// on the last night, we were at victory circle, and a boy got a really big splinter on the back of his thigh. I thought about removing it, but this was out of my league. So we went to the infirmary. He laid on his stomach with his pant leg rolled up while a nurse poked and pulled at his skin with needles and tweezers. Each time he would wince and twitch. I kept saying, “hold still! Its just a splinter! Man up!”

He kept saying, “I’m trying rob! Is she using a giant knife on me?!”
After the splinter was out we walked back to his cabin, late at night, and he says to me, “Rob- can you introduce me to Jesus?”
I said, “are you sure? Its pretty late.”
He said, “I’m sure.”
So I had a tract and we read through it. I invited him to pray the prayer at the end- or something like it. He closed the tract and folded his hands and squinted his eyes shut and said, “jesus: I’m so sorry I sinned…” we talked a bit more and then went back to his cabin. All of the boys were still up. I said, “everyone! I have an announcement! We have a new member of God’s family!” and they all cheered and encouraged him.

What a great way to end the week!

 

 

God is love.

-rev-rob

Snow dream

This morning I had a dream that we were having this big work day at church with all if these volunteers and church leaders, when a bunch of big rigs and tractors rolled into the parking lot. Then I remembered "oh yeah! i ordered a snow ball fight and tubing day!" The tractors came all the way from the mountains, so I couldn't send them home. The main guy said "sorry we're late! We should have this set up in time!" They started putting plywood over the lawn and spraying snow on it. Judie the youth secretary came up to me and said, "what is this? Is this a good day to be doing this?" I started to wonder if this was a bad day to do this and if it would distract from the big work day. I wondered if I was going to get in trouble. All of the kids from the work day left their jobs and came over to see what was going on. The main snow guy said, we have ice cream and snow cones for everyone!" "This is going to be awesome!" I thought. The students that were volunteering were thrilled. I started posting pictures on Instagram saying "snowball fight and tubing tonight at 678!" Then I thought, "wow- I really need to get ready for tonight!" Then I woke up and thought, "how am I going to pay for this?! This is going to cost a fortune!" After 13 years of middle school ministry, these are the things that I dream about at night!

wintercamp 2013

I"m still glowing from our wintercamp last weekend. it was just about perfect. the leaders were incredible. the facility we stayed at, camp chinquapin was delightful as always, and the snow and mountains were spectacular. the students themselves were so gracious and engaged with what was happening. we rented a snow hill, an ice rink, and we went on a hike through pinecrest lake. there were snow angels, snow men, and snowball wars. the roads were clear, and so were the skies.

I taught a set of talked that I have been thinking about for months called awestruck wonder.
 

I looked at the problem of losing our wonder for jesus- or being just bored with faith. how do you rediscover your wonder? this led to reading many books, and many good conversations, including one with one of my favorite authors, steve korch. the result was a set of talks that seemed to hit the students right where they were, at just the right time, and in the perfect setting. I received a number of rare kudos from the students about these talks!

you can see all of our silly times here:


God is love.
-rev-rob

funny conversation, 9/13

last summer at camp, I was standing in line for lunch next to a student friend of mine, and I wanted to start a conversation with her- so I gave her one of my conversation starters: I said, "so- tell me what would your dream job would be?"

she said, "I've always wanted to be a sports bra tester."

I paused. I thought. I asked,

"did you just say that when you grow up you want to be a sports bra tester?!"

she looked embarrassed and a little annoyed and said, "no. I want to be a sports BROADCASTER."

"oh. yeah. that makes sense. what sport?"

things between us have been awkward ever since.

MCRD story

When I was in high school, my youth group would go on choir tour every summer. We all had matching outfits, and we sang and had choreography. It was a big production with lights, a stage and trucks.

We performed in churches, inner city parks, juvenile halls, we even got to perform at Disneyland and Catalina island. One of the coolest crowds we sang for was the marines in San Diego. Before 9/11, we got to go to the marine bases and sing for the new marines in their chapels and even out in the fields. My favorite was this giant auditorium at the marine corps recruitment depot. It was full of thousands of marines, all shouting and hoo-rah-ing.

At the end of every concert, my youth pastor gave a short talk to the crowd. He had a special one for the marines that always got them fired up. We always did two performances for the marines, my youth pastor would do one of the talks and the intern would do the other one.

As years went by, it was finally my turn to be the intern. As the choir tour got closer, I looked forward to the thought of speaking to those marines. I bought my first book for a sermon. It was a short history of the marines. I learned all about them. Their history is fascinating. On the night of the concert, my youth pastor came to me and asked, "are you ready?" I was ready. I had my notes my bible and I was prayed up.

After the songs I addressed this crowd of thousands of guys. It felt strangely comfortable to be with them. I talked about the marine motto: semper fidelis. Latin for always faithful. These guys were amped and shouting. I talked about the many legendary marines that I learned about in my book, and they knew them all. Then I talked about what semper fi means. It means that you are willing to travel to distant shores and to leave your blood there; that you live for others, and that you never quit until the job is done. It means that you never leave your friends dead or wounded on the battlefield. I have never, ever seen a crowd that big, that riled up. They were standing, shouting, jumping and hooting. And then I hit them with my point: Jesus is always faithful. He never leaves us. He died for us, He never quits.

After my talk I said, "we sang songs for you, and now we want to hear YOUR song!" Those thousands of marines stood at attention and shouted, "FROM THE HALLS OF MONTEZUMA TO THE SHORES OF TRIPOLI..." They shouted out the marine anthem. The force of their voices almost knocked me over and the sound was deafening.

That was the first time I ever walked off of a platform and thought, "wow. that went over!" It will always be one of my craziest memories.

After my talk, my youth pastor invited me to give the second talk too. The marine chaplain asked me if he could get a copy of my sermon! And I really started to believe that someday I could give more talks. Lots more talks, lots more people.

Jesus is semper fi. And He has been always faithful to me for all these years. Hoo-rah!

God is love.
-rev-rob

the dream.

do you ever dream about your work?
when I was a waiter, I used to have this reoccurring dream, that I would get to work and walk into a huge hall of hungry people, seated at tables, and waiting for me to serve them. it was overwhelming.

now, I have this reoccurring dream that I'm talking to a huge group of kids, and they are bored out of their minds, and I can totally tell. the room is distracting, the sound board is making weird sounds, people are walking in and out of the room, and its hot and stuffy. the kids can't wait to get out. but I'm not finished with my talk- and the talk isn't particularly good. and I know it. I'm disorganized, I can't find the words to say, and I just want to get out of the situation, but I can't until the last point is made. the dream seems to last forever.

I have told the students about the dream. Sometimes, when I'm talking and they are being distracted and chatty, I just stop and say, "this is it. this is the dream. I'm living it. right. now." just saying it out loud seems to break the tension inside of me and helps me to get back on track. it helps them to recognize how distracted they are too. sometimes when I'm listening to a speaker, I can almost see them notice that they are losing the crowd, and they do all sorts of things to get them back: they talk faster- they talk louder- they move around more- and in my mind I think to myself- "its the dream- they are in the middle of it right now." and I usually pray for them and encourage them on the way out.

they say that if you can speak to middle schoolers, you can speak to anyone. I've been doing it for 12 years now, and I still have a lot of room for improvement! and somehow I think that no matter how long I speak to students, the dream will stay with me.

do me a favor: the next time you are listening to someone speak publicly, make eye contact with them, nod as though you are listening, smile, laugh at their jokes, and thank them for speaking to you when they are done. my guess is that they just did something that was very scary and intimidating for them- and hopefully, you can spare them from dreaming the dream on that night.

God is love.
-rev-rob

hume stories, 2013

last week was my 13th summer at hume lake. what a great time it was. there are so many stories that I could share, but here are a few that affected me directly:

:: this year was very rewarding for me personally. in the summer of 2005, I took a bunch of kids to camp- this year, 3 of those kids served with me as counselors. they all did fabulous, and I'm so proud of the Godly people they have become. here are some pictures of them back in 2005:

the girl on the right is all grown up and was a star counselor- she fearless did the belly flop for her team.



 

the boy on the bottom left in the hat wears a beard and saw his cabin through some tough times. back in 2005 is when I first started calling him fearless.

the boy with the water cup me away with his tender leadership. I watched him pray with a group of boys last week, and it reminded me of how I was able to pray with a group of boys that included him back in 2005. watching him lead those boys to Christ made me a blubbery mess.

 

:: speaking of kids coming to Christ, there is a student that I like to call silly-lilly. every time I see her, I shout out her nick-name, and without fail, she giggles quietly with a big smile. on Thursday night, she was praying to receive Christ with big tears rolling down her cheeks. she caught my eye and I smiled at her. she hid her face because she didn't want me to see her tears. but then she gave me that big, silly, tear-stained smile again. and then I got all teary too.

 

:: speaking of tears! there were lots of them last week. and more than a few belonged to me. on the 4th of july, I went over to the infirmary, but there was a sign on the door that said, "INFIRMARY CLOSED FOR PARADE." I looked around and saw that a little crowd had gathered- then I heard a fire truck- and I looked and saw all of the hume lake fire trucks, ambulances, go karts, golf-carts, pick ups, and motorocycles coming up the street. they had their sirens and horns blazing. they were all decorated in red white and blue streamers. they were filled with little kids screaming "happy 4th of july!" and waving and tossing candy.

 

it was so cute and nostalgic, and special- and in that moment, I thought "jane would love this." and then I thought "oh I should be with jane today!" and "oh- I miss Deanna and jane!" and in the midst of all of that cute celebration, and flying candy, I cried my eyes out.

 

:: I had to take a boy with a dislocated arm to the hospital for the first time. the hospital was in NO HURRY to get me back to camp. I pulled an all-nighter waiting for them to figure out what they wanted to do. when I got back to camp, it wasn't long before I discovered that my spirit had been broken. I got pessimistic, depressed and I just wanted to leave.  but some ice cream, good conversation, and the sound of my young friends laughing fixed that up right away.

 

:: I FIXED THE BUS! when the bus came to pick us up, I went to load it, but the bus driver stopped me and told me that the other bus was nearby, but it was broken. a water hose had burst. no one knew what to do. the camp workers didn't really want to help us either. we tried duct tape, clamps, everything we could think of. we didn't want to call for another bus. finally I went into the mechanic building and looked around for the hose. several workers essentially told me to go away, but I kept at it- until I found the head mechanic! I told him what was wrong and he generously gave me the exact hose that I was looking for. I ran back to the bus drivers waving in the air. I said, "WILL THIS WORK?!" they said ,"ITS PERFECT! YOU FOUND IT!" I felt like MacGyver or something. I felt awesome.

 

:: the students and leaders were so classy all week. of course they took home the championship t-shirt. they always do. many, many of them did serious business with God, and in the end, it was one of the best trips to camp ever.

 

God is love.

-rev-rob

ken's encouragement:

I have an elderly friend named Ken. He is a class-act. He loves helping kids- he has been telling all of the kids in his neighborhood about jesus for years. years ago, I blogged about how he has told his entire neighborhood about jesus. ken also raises money for a local pro-life charity. he has been doing it for years. when he comes around with his clipboard asking for donations, no one can say no to ken, especially me. a year ago on Christmas day, ken’s wife of 54 years, alma, died. I’ve been a little concerned about him ever since.

yesterday, I was standing out in front of church, greeting the people who were walking in, when up walks ken. he had his clipboard, and was raising money, and of course I was going to say yes to him. I started filling out the form when ken started telling me a story in his unique, warbly voice. he said,

“you know I was at the gym the other day, and I asked the fellow next to me, ‘are you cherishing your wife?’ he didn’t know what I was talking about, so I asked him again, ‘are you cherishing your wife?’”

I was filling out the form, nodding my heard, and monitoring who was coming and going, all at once. he continued the story:

“another guy got on the phone and said to his wife, ‘I’m done. you can come and get me now.’ and I said, ‘you know, you could have said I love you. or thank you. or I appreciate you.’ You know Rob, I’ve been asking all of the married men I know if they cherish their wives…”

I had temporarily forgotten that ken’s wife died a year and a half ago, but then I remembered- oh boy did I remember! he continued:

“you know Rob, alma died a year ago on Christmas. and boy do I miss her. you know I would do just about anything just to hold her hand again and tell her that I love her again. I cherished every moment that I spent with her…all 54 years. you know that feeling when you first fall in love, Rob? I had that feeling for 54 years with alma…”

at this point I was filling out this form as fast as I could just to get out of this conversation with ken before he had me bawling in from of a crowd of middle schoolers. he just looked at me, with complete control over his emotions and said,

“you know Rob, you’ve got to cherish her. every day, you’ve got to cherish her. I tell all of my friends who are married to cherish their wives. I’m just grateful that I had 54 happy years with her, but boy do I miss her. you know, I would give anything just to be with her now and hold her hand again.”

He asked me how long Deanna and I have been married and I told him 17 years (!) and he said, “you’ve got a solid foundation- and its build on the solid rock of jesus.”

this guy was killing me. I just had to change the subject in my mind before I broke down. I shook his hand and thanked him for his encouragement. then I started bugging some of the single staff ladies to give him a call. what more could you ask for in a husband?! he’s got character and faith- they didn’t want to hear it.

anyhow- I’ll just give you the same encouragement that ken gave me: cherish her- or him. we don’t know how long we have together, so enjoy every minute of it.

God is love.
-rev-rob

charmed life

I've had a few conversations about this topic lately, and I thought it would be good to preserve them in blog form-

a couple of weeks ago, it was a Sunday morning, and I took the students out to the field to play soccer. it was a gorgeous day, we were in the shadow of those rolling, green los gatos hills, and the students were thrilled to be outside playing. the leaders were all out there being wacky with the kids- and I went to sit down with some of the kids who were either injured or didn't have the right shoes on- and I looked out on the scene and thought to myself, "I don't think it gets any better than this..."

one time I was watching a giants game on tv, and it was a big moment in the game and in the season. the crowd was tense and into every play of the game. one announcer said to another, "any other place you'd rather be?" and the other one says, "not on your life."
I kind of chuckled, and saved that phrase for later.

a couple of nights ago, I was out to dinner with my daughter, and she was very into our time together. she was chatting and chatting about everything: her schoolwork, her toys, her friends, her dreams for the future, and that phrase came back, "any other place you'd rather be?" even while she was chatting, I just reached out and put my hand on her shoulder to save the moment a little while longer.

a long time ago, I was watching this interview with Billy Idol, and he was promoting his album called "Charmed Life." the interviewer asked, "why would you give your album that title?" and he responded with something like, "I'm a punk rocker- I wasn't supposed to get famous or rich. I wasn't even supposed to live all that long. but things have been good for me- I'm living a charmed life." that was another phrase I saved for later.

recently I went on a walk with my family down a trail near our house. we had just walked to dinner and were walking back. we were looking for rocks to throw in the stream and were racing each other- and that phrase came back- and I thought to myself,

"I wasn't supposed to be this blessed- I never thought that life could be this great- that I could be a leader and serve God and get paid for it; that I would have a marriage that is wonderful and a kid that loves me- that I could live in a beautiful town and neighborhood. things have been good. I'm living a charmed life. or maybe a better phrase is a blessed life."

lately I have been stuck in these moments where they are almost too good to be true- and all I could ask for is a pause button to freeze time and save those moments forever. in these moments I'm struck with how blessed I am and how grateful I am for everything; literally everything.

sometimes when I'm with the students I encourage them, instead of thinking about everything that's going wrong, thing about everything that's going right. not just in your circumstances, but in your body, in your cells, in your central nervous system, and in the galaxy. there is so much that God is taking care of that we don't even think about or will even be aware of- maybe ever. count those blessings- if you can count that high!

be joyful always. pray continually. give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

God is love.
-rev-rob

samson the savage

this weekend, I spoke on the story of samson to my friends in the middle school ministry. it seems like every time I go through this material, it seems to bother and frustrate the students, and there is lots of discussion, interruptions and questions as I'm reading the text. and this time I felt like the grandpa from princess bride-

it went kind of like this:
ME: "So Delilah said to Samson, "Tell me the secret of your great strength and how you can be tied up and subdued."

STUDENTS: "but wait...Rob...why is he talking to her? doesn't he know that she wants to kill him? doesn't he see? why doesn't he see?"

ME: "you seem to be getting a little nervous... maybe we should stop reading for awhile...how about I just close the book..."

STUDENTS: "I wasn't nervous. Well, maybe I was a little bit concerned, but that's not the same thing..."

ME: "because we can stop now if you want..."

STUDENTS: "no you can read a bit more if you want..."

ME: "alright then- no more interruptions. where were we? "With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death. So he told her everything."

STUDENTS: "everything?! no- that can't be right Rob! I mean...he's a judge and a hero! the story can't end like this! you're messing up the story!"

ME: "I'm reading the story right from the book- are you sure you're ok with this?"

STUDENTS: "yeah- go ahead and keep reading..."

ME: "ok- 'Then the Philistines seized Samson, gouged out his eyes and took him down to Gaza. Binding him with bronze shackles, they set him to grinding in the prison."

STUDENTS: "what?! what happened to his eyes? does he get his eyes back?! why didn't delilah save him? are you sure this is how the story goes?"

ME: "do you want me to read this or not? you're very upset, maybe we should just close the book now..."

STUDENTS: "no- its ok- keep reading..."

ME: "But the hair on Samson's head began to grow again after it had been shaved..."

next week is the big ending of the story- and I hope it will be both closure and a warning for all of us-

God is love.
-rev-rob

mexico story

Last week I drove past the McDonald's in front of Disneyland and it reminded me of this story:

Several years ago I went on a missions trip to build houses in Mexico. My friend Chris was leading the trip, and more than anything, I just wanted to support him and to help the trip run smoothly. My job was to drive the 15 passenger van, and I took that job seriously. I wanted to make sure that whenever Chris needed to move kids with my van, that it would be ready.

On the first morning of the trip, we were all eating breakfast, and Chris shouted out, "5 minutes until we load the vans!" That was my call to action. I cleaned up my breakfast, got my tools, and got in my van. I made sure that the doors were unlocked, the engine was running, and the A/C was blowing. 5 minutes passed. No students. The 10 minutes. My mind started racing. "Where are those kids? We're going to be late? How can I help Chris right now?" So I started honking the horn and shouting out, "LET'S GO! WE'RE BURNING DAYLIGHT! I GOT A HOUSE TO BUILD!"

Well, I couldn't see it, but Chris had called an impromptu prayer meeting with all of the kids on the way to the van. And the meeting was interrupted by my honking and yelling.

You would think that Chris and these kids would have thought this was funny. They didn't. The students came up to my van and shouted, "ROB! We were having a prayer meeting!" Even Chris came by and told me that wasn't cool. How was I supposed to know? I was just being an excellent van driver.

Well, it took a few more honking, yelling, and scolding mornings before I decided to just go with the flow and watch out for these prayer meetings.

Meanwhile, back in San Jose, a dear woman who was loved by many lost her battle with cancer. This news reached our group while we were on our way home.

Chris had us stop for breakfast at the McDonald's across the street from Disneyland. The students were hoping that he was surprising them with a day there, but he wasn't. After breakfast, he shouted out that familiar announcement: "5 minutes until we load the vans!" So I sprang into action. I cleaned up my food, got a refill and got into my van. 5 minutes passed. Then 10. Where were those kids? They were making us late! So I did what I needed to do to support Chris. I honked and yelled.

Another impromptu prayer meeting, and another scolding by the entire group. "What were you guys praying about anyway? We're on our way home!"

One girl snapped back, "we were praying for the dead lady from church!" "What are you praying for her for? SHE'S DEAD! She's with Jesus! She doesn't need your prayers!"

Well, you would think these kids would appreciate some good theology from a pastor, but the ENTIRE van flipped out and yelled, "ROB! HOW DARE YOU say something like that about that dead lady!"

And it was at that moment that I condluded that some people just don't appreciate good theology or efficient van driving.

God is love.
-rev-rob

JUST-EHHHH-CE!

on Sunday morning, I went over to the bathroom at church during the singing time, right before I was scheduled to speak in middle school. when I got into the hallway, I saw one of the students, a young man named justice wandering the halls.

I thought to myself, “he’s not supposed to be wandering the halls! he is supposed to either be with his parents in the service, or upstairs with all of the students!”

so I called out, “JUSTICE! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”

but he didn’t even acknowledge me.

so I thought to myself, “I know that walk. he’s upset. why is he upset? is he having a conflict with his family? his friends? is he mad at me? did I say something to him that hurt his feelings?”

so I called out, “JUSTICE! WHAT’S THE MATTER?!”

still no response. he just kept walking.

I thought to myself, “that’s weird. wow- he really is upset. he won’t even talk to me.”

so I kept following him and calling out his name- around one corner, and around another.

and I thought to myself, “now I’M offended! after all we’ve been through as friends, he won’t even turn around when I call him. what is this kid’s problem? I’m just trying to help. He could at least turn around when I call him.”

he went around another corner and sat down in a chair. I caught up to him and shouted out,

“JUSTICE! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! I HAVE BEEN CALLING OUT TO YOU FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES! WHY DON’T YOU ANSWER WHEN I CALL?”

and then he looked up, pulled the ear-bud out of his ear and said,
“huh? did you say something?”

he was listening to headphones the whole time.

I said, “why are you sitting here?”

he said, “oh- I’m just waiting for my parent’s bible study to end.”

and I turned around to see the open door of a room full of people praying, and justice’s parents we're there too. they were the only ones looking up at me- and they had one of those embarrassed smiles on their faces. I'm guessing that they heard the whole conversation.

and then I went and spoke in middle school.

three good long cries

I usually only blog on days when I don’t have a ton going on, which explains why I haven’t blogged in a while- but I’m taking some time off this summer, and hopefully I can get caught up on some stories, insights and reflections-

lately, my heart has been overflowing with emotion for my students. here are 3 recent stories of interactions with students that made me burst into tears:

:: we have a student who is in 7^th grade who struggles with anxiety. every week she puts on her prayer card that it is almost crippling. I sent her a note about how I have been encouraged by psalm 139, and how I quote the last 2 verses of the psalm when I’m feeling anxious. the next time I saw her, she thanked me for the note and told me that she actually quotes that psalm when she is feeling anxious too- except she quotes the entire psalm.

recently we had a little talent show in the ministry, and she said that she wanted to stand up front and quote psalm 139. I wasn’t shure how that was going to go: would she get anxious? would the students giggle? when it was time to go up, she stood in front of her peers like an actress in a broadway show. in a loud, and animated voice she cried out,

“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.

You hem me in —behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
 if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”

 even the darkness will not be dark to you; he night will shine like the day,
 for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
 I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book
 before one of them came to be.

 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!

Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord,

    and abhor those who rise up against you?

 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.”

my jaw dropped. I was speechless. it was flawless, confident and inspiring. later a new staff person said, “wow- that was cool!” I said, “yeah- and you know what? she struggles with anxiety. in fact, she quotes those words when she feels anxious. that’s how she got so good at remembering it.” and then I soaked my cheeks in tears.

:: speaking of memorizing verses, we have an 8^th grade boy named Trevor who was giving it his very, very best to learn 10 memory verses at camp this summer so that he could earn points for his team to win the camp championship. One night, I saw him sitting on the porch of his cabin late at night, reviewing the lines of a verse. he was so frustrated that he couldn’t memorize it. I talked to his counselor and he said that everyone had memorized all of their verses except for Trevor- he also said that he has never seen someone struggle with memorizing like that. Later in the week his counselor said, “well, Trevor did it!” “He memorized a verse?” I asked. “No. He memorized ALL of his verses!” I started thinking of Jane- and how if she had done something like that, that I would give her some kind of prize. I went up to Trevor and said, “TREVOR! you memorized ALL of your verses! I can’t even say how proud I am of that! good job! Hey! I want to give you a prize and recognize this! what do you want? a milkshake? a t-shirt? you name it.” he said, “Naw- I just want to win.” and then my vision got blurry from the tears. sadly, he didn’t win; but he’s still a winner.

:: at the same camp, we had a 6^th grade girl who came up to me with tears in her eyes and said, “I want to go home.” In my mind I thought that she was feeling sick or homesick. she continued, “my dad died 6 years ago this week. and I was gone when he died. and I just want to be home.” oh boy. I started thinking of Jane again and I couldn’t keep it together. I said, “well, your mom paid a lot of money for you to be here, and she is hoping that you have a great week; would you like to call her on the phone?” she nodded yes. I got a staff girl, and took her to my lodge room and showed her the phone. I stayed outside while they were in the room making the call. I saw a friend in the hall and tried to make small talk, but then I could hear this kid’s sobs through the door, and I just lost it.

she just kept talking about it for the rest of the week. I constantly caught her sharing stories with friends and counselors about good times with her dad: his favorite foods, the last time that they swam together and his pet names for her. I was in tears on and off for the rest of the week.

I was reflecting last week that what I needed the most was a good long cry; and I definitely found it. I’ve had a few of those at that camp; and my heart is full.

God is love.

-rev-rob