green eggs and volunteers

i am rob.
rob-the-sermoneer.

rob-the-sermoneer!
rob-the-sermoneer!
i’m avoiding rob-the-sermoneer!

would you like to volunteer?
would you, could you for a year?

i do not want to volunteer!
i do not like kids, sermoneer!

would you serve on a sunday
or on a tuesday night?

i would not serve in the morning,
not in the night!
i told you, i do not like those neophytes!

would you? could you at the lake?
would you? could you over spring break?

not at the lake!
not over break!
not in the night, not in the day!
i told you rob,
i’m saying NO WAY!
i do not want to volunteer!
i don’t like kids, you sermoneer!

would you? could you lead a group?
what about a boy scout troop?

not a scout troop!
not a small group!
not at the lake!
not over break!
not in the day, not in the night!
i’m not cut out for oversight!
i do NOT want to volunteer!
please go AWAY you sermoneer!

could you help out with the teens?
would you help our drama queens?

i would not help out with the teens!
i COULD not help out drama queens!
not at the lake!
not on the shore!
please don’t call me ANYMORE!
i do not want to volunteer!
leave me alone church overseer!

a bus! a bus! a bus! a bus!
would you? could you drive the bus?

i would not, could not drive the bus!
not a boat, not a car!
not on a trip,
teens are bizarre!
not on sunday morning!
not tuesday night.
i’m way TOO busy to help you, alright?!
i’m afraid of junior highers, rob-the-sermoneer,
please stop asking me to volunteer!

you don’t want to serve,
so you say.
come check us out and you may!

rob, if you’ll leave me alone, i’ll give it a try.
if you’ll stop calling, i’ll visit junior high…

(one week later)

say!
after sunday, i feel so inspired!
i really liked those junior highers!
and I WOULD help them at the lake!
and on a trip, and over break-
and i would help them with a prayer
and lead a group while they shared
and I WOULD help out by leading games
and i’m trying to learn all their names!
and i would help out for a year-
i would so love to volunteer!
i do so love this ministry!
thank you rob, for asking me!


(seriously folks- i need some more camp counselors! call me!)