life is beautiful

I had a strange experience today. I did a funeral for someone that I have never met- someone who was not a believer. This woman died suddenly, leaving two children without parents. They are probably 11 and 15 years old. Their father died years ago.
Just hearing about this service made me sad for the kids. No one was available to do the service, so I stepped in. this woman’s daughter, the one who is about 15 was acting silly before the service began. I couldn’t blame her. We all deal with pain in our own ways. Her little brother, who was about 10 or 11, was still and silent. I gave some opening comments and then opened it up for sharing. Several people shared this woman’s zest for life and her love for her kids. Her kids got up and shared too. They seemed nervous and in a hurry to sit down.


People kept on sharing: friends, family, co-workers, neighbors. all of their stories matched up. this was a woman that had a passion for life, food and her family. a single mom who put her kids first. she didn't date. her kids were her life.


there was a moment where it seemed that everyone who wanted to share had finished. I told the funeral home to play a song off of a cd that a family friend had brought. The family friend looked over at the kids and mouthed the words, “this is for you.” The sister kept acting goofy. The song was a country song about a mom who was proud of her kids. The big sister got quiet and stared at the floor. The little brother leaned his head against his grandmother’s shoulder as tears fell out of his eyes. I had to look away before I lost control of my own tears. I had never met this kid, but knowing his story and seeing his tears were enough to make my eyes well up with tears of my own.


it was a strange funeral because i was speaking about someone that i had never met. and there was no talk of heaven- and no references to scripture- that was the family's request.


I closed with the following thoughts: (I have left her name out to protect the family’s anonymity)
“We will never forget ****.
We can all be grateful for the love that she had for us, and the love that you had for her.
You are all blessed to have had her in your life.
A moment like this reminds us of how precious and short and fragile our lives are.
We don’t get to choose when we will die or how we will die-
We only get to choose how we will live.
How will you live?
How will you be remembered? How would you like to be remembered?
What will your friends and family remember about how you treated others?
How will they remember your zest for life?
we make those choices today.
At a service like this we often hear the words, “always” describing the one we are honoring
What will be the “always” that describes your life?
You can choose that now.
We are all writing our funeral speeches today.
The ancient scriptures of the bible encourage us to “live a life of love” and that is exactly how **** lived her life.
Thank you for sharing, and thank you for allowing me this special honor of being a part of this time.”


I prayed for those mourning and for those kids.
I gave the kids a hug before I left.


That was tough for me.
It was tough for those kids.
I can’t imagine what they have been through and what they will endure in the coming weeks and years.
I’ll continue to keep those kids in prayer.


But my questions remain:
How will you live?
How do you want to be remembered?
What “always” will describe you?
We choose these things today.


Life is beautiful.
Love your family.
be kind to your friends.
Leave your mark.
Life is short; fragile; and precious.