my superpowers

one of my favorite shows on tv right now is heroes. its about ordinary people discovering that they have extraordinary powers. one of my favorite characters can fly really, really fast- oftentimes straight up in the air. he flies so fast that he leaves a trail of smoke behind him. sometimes i wish that i could fly like him. i would save so much time on travel. it takes me forever to get from one place to another.

as i have been watching this show, it has confirmed for me what i have suspected for years: i too have superpowers. several in fact. for the first time ever, i’m sharing them here and now.

1. i have the ability to speak without being heard.
its amazing really. sometimes i’m at church and i say to all of the students, “hey everyone! its time to get started! let’s all find a seat!” and no one moves. its like they didn’t even hear! this is crazy because i can hear me- but they can’t! there are times when this is happening and i think to myself, “i am using my superpower right now!” the same thing happens at my house too! sometimes jane is watching cartoons and i say, “hey kid! want to go play today?...hello?!” its my superpowers again! now if i can only find a way to use this for something good.

2. i have the ability to make no sense.
sometimes i’m talk to people, and my words just don’t come out right. at all. which is weird, because i know what i mean in my head, and i know what i’m trying to say in my head, but when the words come out of my mouth, they are all mixed up. some words don’t come out at all. sometimes the wrong words come out too. sometimes my words come out all mumbley. this power might even be in effect right now as i type. i have the ability to make no sense. it’s a strange ability, i know.

3. i have magic pockets.
i can put my keys in my pockets, and then they can completely disappear. where they go, i’m not sure. another dimension maybe. i look everywhere for them. then after awhile, i check my pockets and they are there again. i kind of wish i didn’t have this superpower actually.

4. my car makes street lights turn red.
its fascinating. my car can drive up to a streetlight that green, and within a few feet of the intersection, that light will turn from green to yellow to red. i think this superpower also makes red lights last longer too. because i find myself sitting at a LOT of red lights for long periods of time. there are days when i think that i hit every single red light possible. this is probably why i wish that i could fly like Nathan on heroes.

there was this guy on heroes named Arthur that took away powers. if i ran into that guy in real life, i’d gladly give him all four of mine.