POTTY POWER!

since i drive the bus, i’m eligible for a random drug test. and i got called up this morning. so i brought a good book with me just in case i had to wait. but i forgot one thing: don’t pee.


so i get there, and they give me a breathalyzer test, and of course i passed. then they gave me a cup. the cups are kind of cool, they have temperature sensors on them, just to make sure that everything inside of the cup is body temperature. (yeah- i guess its more gross than cool.) i had to empty my pockets (just in case i had pee in them,) and fill the cup halfway.
only problem: i got stage fright.
i got really close to the line, but not up to it.


i came out and gave the lady my cup. she noticed that it was under the line. she told me that i had to fill it to the line. i told her to give me awhile and i could do it. she said, “you have 3 hours, that’s it.” and she threw my cup away! i had a shocked look. i was so close! she said, “you can’t add to it. start over. there is the drinking fountain.”


so i drank and drank and drank. and i read and read and read. and i sat and sat and sat. finally, NINETY MINUTES LATER, i said, “i think i’m ready!” (i felt like jane doing her potty training.) the lady said, “if you don’t fill it, we start all over. are you sure?” “i think i can do it!” i said. (again, I felt like jane going for a potty-prize.) i went in the bathroom and after a minute or so i came out with my cup held high and i shouted, “I DID IT!”
the nurse was not impressed.
when jane does a potty, its way more exciting. but for me, there was no cheering; i didn’t even get a prize. no m&m’s. no trip to golfland, no toys, nothing. nothing but the privilege of driving the bus. oh well. at least i had a good book.